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Hope for When You Mess Up (Again.)

August 8, 2013 by betsydecruz Leave a Comment

Getting dressed for a wedding can be a traumatic experience for me. It usually involves frantically going through my closet to see what I can wear without ironing, and blow drying my hair while simultaneously slapping on makeup.  Woe to the person who knocks on my bedroom door to ask if they look okay!

family wedding pic 2012
No evidence of pre-wedding stress here. Oh no, we’re all as calm as cucumbers.

Our most recent wedding experience was more traumatic than usual.  During my pre-wedding panic, family members knocked on my door with multiple emergencies.

My son wondered what to wear.

My daughter burst in with the news the two dresses we bought last summer are too babyish this year. (I lectured her on how I’m never buying her another thing, gave her MY dress and went through my closet a second time.)

My son said, “Does dad have an extra belt?  I told you last month my belt was broken. Did you get me a belt?”  (My reaction was not pretty.)

My daughter burst in again.  “Mom, I don’t have any shoes!” I looked, and sure enough, she had flip flops, high tops, cross trainers and sandals.  No dress shoes

My son said, “Do I look okay?

My daughter said, “Is my hair all right?”

By the time my poor husband came in to get dressed, I’d had it.

“Does this look okay?” he said, holding out a shirt and pants.

“It looks great!” I snapped. “Wear whatever you want!”

By the time we got into the car, I felt terrible. What kind of a mother am I, anyway? My son has no belt and my daughter has no shoes. Why do I wait until the last minute to get dressed, so that I’m a bear to anyone who needs help? Why do I take things out on my husband?

Mother guilt is the worst kind there is. It creeps up on you all the time, but whether you’re a parent, friend, or co-worker, any relationship provides an arena for you to mess up. You explode at someone or disappoint them, and you feel guilty about it. “How could I do this again? Will I ever change?”

Recently I read something in the Jesus Calling devotional that would transform me if I could really get it:

“Stop trying to fix yourself and fix your gaze on Jesus, the Lover of your soul.”

So much of my energy is focused on trying to fix myself, but I’m freer to receive forgiveness when I take my eyes off of my failings and turn my attention to God.  I’m free to relax and receive His amazing, unconditional love.  I can let go of my failure, get up from where I’ve fallen and make a fresh start. I’m free to apologize to people when I blow it and extend grace to them when they mess up.

Psalm 103:11,12 has good news for me:

“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Have you blown it lately? What encourages you when you do?

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Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: blow ups, everyday faith, forgiveness, fresh starts, God's grace, handling stress, Hope, mess-ups, weddings

Comments

  1. Sandy Winn says

    August 8, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    You write so beautifully and with wonderful description. I too want to adopt the statement in Jesus Calling about getting our eyes off ourselves and on Jesus. Thanks for the telling of your experience. Love you

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      August 9, 2013 at 7:43 am

      Thanks, Sandy. I love that quote too. Stop trying to fix myself and fix my gaze on him.

      Reply

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Hello! I’m Betsy.

I believe overwhelmed women can learn to take small steps to experience more of God's presence and power in their lives. When we hear God's voice through His Word, He calms our fears and frees us to receive His peace and joy. Read More…

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Encouraging women to pursue Jesus and live out His purposes. ⬇️I'd love to give you Free Quiet Time Renewal Guide.

Happy Easter! So grateful to celebrate little Leon Happy Easter! So grateful to celebrate little Leon's first Easter with Elijah, Camilla, and the rest of the family ❤️
I'm so grateful God held little Leon in His hands I'm so grateful God held little Leon in His hands and delivered him safely into this world one week ago today!

Camilla and Elijah are doing such a great job as parents already, and we have a cute little cuddlebug to hold and marvel over! Abuelo José is in awe to be able to hold such a little guy! (PSA, last photo is the best!)

I keep marveling over God's faithful care and keep coming back to this verse: "From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you." Psalm 71:6

#grandbaby #baby #grandmother #thanks
1. When you and your daughter are students at the 1. When you and your daughter are students at the same seminary.  2. And your husband is on staff there!❤️
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Such a fun evening last night at Convocation.
Feliz Navidad from the Cruz family! ❤️🎄 We Feliz Navidad from the Cruz family! ❤️🎄

We've enjoyed such a fun and memorable Christmas season. So grateful for family,  loved ones, and for the way Advent cheers our spirits and reminds us of the wonder of Jesus' coming to earth.

#feliznavidad #merrychristmas #advent #joy  #family
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👉
#2 Cindy Douglas, our Women's Christmas Lunch Coordinator. So gifted.

#3 Our Ninja team who did the work to pull everything off.

#4 Our speakers, @rebeccacarrell  and @beca.inke . So talented. Filled with the Holy Spirit.

(Amazing worship team is not pictured! 😭)

#5 Fabulous table hostesses, who decorated the tables and made women feel welcome.

#6 Men who volunteered to serve, including my own José!

#7 Northwest group life team women, who served as table hostesses and supported me in those moments when I thought I'd lose my mind! 😂

(Not pictured are our lovely greeters and my dear daughter Camilla, who was at my side, one of my best friends. ❤️)

#thanks to all of you! What amazing #teamwork ! ❤️🎄

#joy #christmas #northwestbiblewomen gratitude
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#thanksgiving #surprise #fun #family
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@kristenains had a great idea, organization, and menu planning skills.
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@heyjayes had a willing heart to help with setup.

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