Some days I feel more like Godzilla than like a beautiful woman. Scripture tells us gracious character makes a woman shine, but all too often I let life’s glitches turn me into a grumpy momster no one wants to be around.
One afternoon when both kids still lived at home, I had a Godzilla moment when I realized I’d left my passport at my daughter’s skating center.
Panicked, I rushed the kids back to the car, desperately hoping to retrieve it before my husband found out. I fretted aloud the whole way there; my kids’ faces mirrored my anxiety. As we got out of the car, I dropped my sun glasses in Camilla’s path.
“Don’t walk on my glasses!” I barked. She walked ahead and pretended not to know me.
An employee had found my passport, but even that didn’t calm me down. Back in the parking lot, my frustration grew when I couldn’t get the car door open despite jiggling the key every way I could think of.
“Uh, Mom,” my son said. “That’s not our car.”
Next we stopped at the pet shop. After I walked out of the store with our guinea pig supplies, the shop keeper came running. “Ma’am, you left your credit card!”
That’s when I finally started laughing.
I mean, it was funny. What else could go wrong that day? The kids laughed too. We got in the car, turned up the music and laughed all the way home.
Laughter turned a bad afternoon around for us. It softened the edges of my Momster self and made me into someone my kids actually wanted to be around.
I want to be a delight rather than a drag for the people I love.
That’s why I want to be a more joyful person. Especially when things go wrong. On challenging days I want to take a deep breath and remind myself:
Joy makes a woman more beautiful.
Joy is not just an extra, like frosting flowers on a cake. It’s a crucial ingredient to a happy life. Joy gives us renewed strength and perspective. It makes us more winsome, attractive people, but I can’t just wait for it to show up in my life.
I want to cultivate joy now, even before all my problems are solved. Otherwise, my grumpy Godzilla tendencies will overtake me.
Here are things I’m trying:
Stick closer to the Source of Joy
God invented joy. Surely He’s the most joyful being in the universe, and He wants to give us joy as a gift. When we spend a few minutes to pray and read our Bibles, or when we call on Him during the day, He gives us His gifts of love, joy, and peace.
Ask for More
For the past months, I’ve been praying for more joy. And although I still tend to get stressed out and scattered, I’m growing. Each morning, I ask God to fill my tank with His joy. He does. Lots of days, I let that joy run out by 10 am, but I’m learning.
Enjoy the Life You Have
Let’s face it. A lot of life is ho-hum. Sometimes it’s downright difficult. I pray often, “God, help me enjoy what I have to do today and the life You’ve given me.” I want to enjoy my work, and I want to savor simple pleasures like conversation with my family around the dinner table.
Maybe the simplest way I know to cultivate a more joyful, beautiful spirit is to smile and laugh more. After all, it’s hard to act like a stress-crazed Godzilla and smile at the same time.
Now it’s your turn: Do you think joy makes a person more beautiful? How do you manage to stay positive?
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Jose Cruz says
Thanks for your transparency, this is the way life is! He will bless and use you being a real person.
betsydecruz says
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Amorcito. You’re the best!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Betsy,
So true….we can’t just muster up joy on our own. I have felt like a grumpy godzilla lately and your post is timely. I need to draw closer to the source of my joy and remember it’s His opinion of me that counts. And, if I am not experiencing joy, God invites me to simply ask….so easy, yet I make it so complex at times.
Blessings,
Bev xx
betsydecruz says
Oh Bev, I feel for you, after all you’ve been through. Sometimes joy comes to us in pain, doesn’t it? I wish it weren’t that way, and I bet you do too about now. Grace to you today, sister.
Michele Morin says
You’re definitely on to something here, Betsy, because I can see on my face (like when I pass a mirror or a reflective surface) whether I’m living in joy or some other place on any given day. When I’m refusing joy, my face sags and it looks as if my eyebrows each weigh 35 pounds.
My kids love it when I can laugh at myself — and the older I get, the more opportunities I get to practice that! Thanks for sharing your godzilla moment!
betsydecruz says
Yep. I have PLENTY of opportunities to laugh at myself as well, Michele. Grace to you this week. May the Lord pour out an extra portion of joy over you!
Kristine says
I loved reading this today Betsy. I’ve had a few Godzilla moments too. (OK, maybe more than a few!) I agree with what Michele said above. It shows on my face when I walk past a mirror. Our faces have a completely different countenance when we have that joy. And you are right. We have to be intentional about it, so Godzilla doesn’t take over:)
betsydecruz says
Thanks for the encouragement, Kristine. I appreciate you. Yes, that Godzilla takes over all too easily. Here’s to slowing down for more joy-filled moments this week. And drawing nearer to the Joy Giver.
Sabra Penley says
Love this, Betsy! I never noticed before that “Godzilla” begins with “God.” Makes me think how when our monster tendencies come out it shows that we have put ourselves in first place of our lives and pushed God away. We, in essence, choose to be our own god. I looked up “zilla” and it is defined as “fearsome, extreme, overbearing.” I’m sure I’ll never forget that. A good reminder to check where my heart is when I start looking and acting scary! Keeping God in His rightful place in my heart is so important to live with joy and shine His light to everyone around me.
betsydecruz says
Hah! Sabra, I love these insights on GODzilla. Thanks so much. Yes, I can get pretty scary too. Thanks for the reminder to keep God in the right place.
Jill says
Love this!! I’m all about #joy this month and this is perfectly wonderful! Thanks for sharing-such truth here “Joy gives us renewed strength and perspective.” Amen, my friend, Amen!
betsydecruz says
I’m glad if it encourages you, Jill. Someone gave me a book on Joy, Champagne for the Soul, with a reading for each day. (90 days) It has encouraged me. Joy has been one of my main themes for about 8 years. I’m kind of slow on learning, though. 🙂
Kristi Woods says
So my first thought? You ARE a beautiful person, and what better voice than yours to be championing this. Then, I read the first paragraph. And laughed. And kept reading. The smile grew. I can relate! Many (yes, I said many) Momster moments have hung over my head. Had one last week, as a matter of fact. Thank God for His grace! Loved the post, the smile it brought, and the encouragement/action steps it offered, Betsy. xo
betsydecruz says
Kristi! You mean to tell me your last Momster moment was last week? Oh friend, I have a lot to learn from you. I think I have them almost daily?! 🙂 Thanks for your encouragement though.
Patricia says
This is so true! After all the joy of the Lord is our strength, right? When I find my joy tank on though, I find that praise and worship music gets my heart pumping and my joy tank full again. Thank you for sharing!
Alice Walters says
Dear Betsy, I love this! Sometimes my fleshly brain says asking God for joy is frivolous. What a lie by Satan! Of course the abundant life Jesus died and rose again to give us includes joy, and what better witness to His saving grace. Blessings and thanks to keep joy on my prayer list.
Sarah Geringer says
I needed this advice today, Betsy. Sharing your post on FB and Twitter!
betsydecruz says
Thanks so much, Sarah. Blessings and JOY to you, sister!
Devri Wickwire says
Oh Betsy, you are truly beautiful. I love that the Spirit gave you the ability to laugh and thwarted all the schemes of the enemy to steal your joy! As always, I love your transparency and am encouraged by it. devri
betsydecruz says
YOU are the beautiful one, Devri. I bet you hardly ever act like Godzilla! No, seriously, I appreciate you more than you know. Thanks for your encouragement, beautiful friend.
Linda Stoll says
I loved that you could laugh out loud right in the midst of one of the worst . days . ever.
I remember some of those quite tense conversations with my kids when they were teenagers. Now, my sainted husband is the one who might end up as a target for my frustrations.
Lord have mercy.
* sigh *
betsydecruz says
I’m with you, Linda! My husband is definitely qualified for saint status too! 🙂 Blessings to you, friend.
Jeannie Prinsen says
Thanks for your honesty, Betsy — I always appreciate that about your posts. I see myself in so much of what you’ve said. Thanks for your encouraging words about the power of joy.
betsydecruz says
Jeannie, you are so encouraging. Thank you. I so appreciate your reading my blog.
Laura says
Oh, I totally sympathize and that’s why I love this story! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on holding on to joy! ❤ Visiting from Coffee for Your Heart today. 🙂
betsydecruz says
Thanks for the visit, Laura. 🙂 I think most women can relate?
Kathryn says
The joy of Christ is the definition of beautiful! I am so ashamed at all the times I have gotten irritated and nasty at my family because we were running late or things were falling apart quickly. But I too am trying my best to remember that my actions and my heart are often responsible for how the rest of the day goes. If I can stay close to Christ in the midst of the storm and remember that most of my “problems” won’t even matter next week, the rest of my family feels the calm and joy and follows suit, if I lose it…they do too. Also, my girls are learning how to handle life’s discouragements, challenges and storms by watching me. I really want to exhibit joy, self control and grace. I am doing better than I used too. 😊 Thanks for your words Betsy!
betsydecruz says
Oh Kathryn, I know what you mean about how running late can do you in. Me too. I find it even more challenging with adolescents than when the kids were little. I’m learning to breathe deep and sometimes let go of being on time. Learning slowly. You’re so right about how our kids learn from us. We’re all learning. Imperfect progress!
Mary Geisen says
I remember some of those Godzilla moments when my sons were young. I almost felt like I could see a train wreck waiting to happen and I kept moving in the same direction inspite of it all.
My mom gave me the best advice as a preteen. She told me to smile more. People will respond better and won’t think you’re mad all the time when you smile. Joy does make us more beautiful because we are reflecting God’s joy to others.
RebeccaLynn says
I’ve been guilty of acting like a “momster” far too many times. It’s something the Lord has really been convicting me of, not just for my own good but so my children see a better example for when they become parents. Of course, we need to give ourselves grace. We are only human and will have those messy, bad days. But we don’t have to allow those reactions to become habits, or worse, our nature. We can take on the nature of the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us. Learning to surrender to Him is not always easy, but it always yields such blessings! Thank you for this, Betsy. It was so timely and really helped reaffirm the things God has placed on my heart. xoxoxo
Liz Morgan says
Thanx, Betsy, for reminding us that life’s undesired realities can lead to shared Joy. We have the power to choose godly reactions.
betsydecruz says
Yes, we do have the power of choice, don’t we Liz? It doesn’t always feel that way, but I can choose to laugh any day! Choosing that now today in 104 year with no AC! 🙂 Love to you.
Sarah Donegan says
Sometimes all you can do is laugh. I know I set the tone for the house as the mom, and that ain’t always pretty. I definitely need a constant flow of joy!
betsydecruz says
Yes, Sarah, I’ve noticed that too. I also think (or have observed?) that women set the tone for the home. Somehow if I’m joyful, it helps everyone else, and I’ve I’m down, they’re a bit dragged down too.
Nicole Kauffman says
I love this truth. I can SO relate to those days where thing after thing goes wrong until you just start to laugh! But we need that joy beginning with the very first thing so we don’t go through the lose our mind process! Thanks for the reminder 🙂
betsydecruz says
Oh yes, Nicole! I’m all about not losing my mind. 🙂 I’m sure you can relate too. Thanks for reading.
Karissa says
With two kiddos 2 and under and another one-year-old that I babysit 3-4 days a week, I definitely have days of stress. I need the joy of the Lord to be my strength in moments when it is so easy to be frustrated and impatient. Thanks for the encouragement!
betsydecruz says
Oh Karissa, it sounds like you do have a full plate. God’s grace and joy to you each day, sister!
Debbie Putman says
“Joy is not just an extra, like frosting flowers on a cake. It’s a crucial ingredient to a happy life.” Wow. Beautiful truth here. I talk a lot about joy and your reminders on how to pursue it were ones I will use to help me when I get caught in the trap of circumstances.
Crystal Storms says
Love it! Your beauty exudes all throughout this, Betsy! Thank you for your transparency and the reminder to stick closer to our Source!
betsydecruz says
Oh Crystal. Thanks for that encouragement, friend. I needed to hear that right now. 🙂
Tiffany Parry says
So good, Betsy! My joy disintegrates under pressure. Truly, it’s sad. I think because I’m such a orderly, Type A person, when things start to fall apart I lose all my joy. Love your reminder to ask for more, and more importantly to go to the source. I need to be better about that. Thanks for encouraging me today, friend.
betsydecruz says
I think I’m Type A too, Tiffany. Easily fall apart inside when stuff around me falls apart. I know what you mean. I’m holding on to joy as hard as I can. Asking for more. Every day. 🙂
Brenda says
Me too, Betsy. I want to be a delight not a drag, too. “Joy makes a woman more beautiful.” Love that sentiment, friend. Thanks for sharing. ((hug))
betsydecruz says
Thank you Brenda! I think a wife and mom has more power than anyone else to drag down, don’t you? Yes, to being a delight! Let’s make that our intention one day at a time. We won’t get it perfectly, but we can make progress. Hug back.
Julie says
Love this Betsy! Like you said, joy gives the best beauty. It’s a beauty which will never fade.
So glad I stopped from #Salt&Light
betsydecruz says
Glad you stopped by too, Julie. A joyful weekend to you. 🙂
Lisa notes says
I’ve been a Momster on many occasions myself so I’m quite familiar with how she looks. 🙂 Your ideas on how to be more joyful are so good, Betsy. Thanks for taking the time to share these so we can try them on for size too. “Joy makes a woman more beautiful.” Amen.
betsydecruz says
Hah! You’re making me smile here, Lisa. You know how that Momster looks too? Here’s to making her disappear! What do you say? 🙂
Mary Carver says
Hi Betsy! I love this post so much. I frequently find myself turning into a MOMSTER! 🙂
I work for ForEveryMom.com, a Christian parenting site, and I think our readers would also be encouraged by your post. Would you allow us to republish it on our site? We would give you full credit as author, link to the original post, and include your bio and head shot. What do you think? Please let me know if you have any questions and if you’re interested. Thank you!
betsydecruz says
Thanks so much for reading, Mary, and I appreciate the invitation. Let me think about it a day or two and get back to you if I have questions. Will right you soon.
Patty says
I just joined your blog group. I read your devotional in The Upper Room & loved your joyful & inspiring writings. Thanks so much for sharing the good, the bad & the ugly – LOL! You make God’s word real. I’m looking forward to following your blog. God bless you for sharing your joy! 😀
betsydecruz says
Thanks for your encouragement, Patty. I appreciate it. Joy to you today!