“Would this bright, beautiful girl even be interested in spending time with a middle-aged housewife like me?” When I met Bahar, she was a social butterfly with a million friends. I was a stay at home mom overwhelmed by two small kids. I could barely get a shower most days, let alone get outside my house.
I sensed the Lord leading me to encourage younger women in our church, but I didn’t know what to do. I began to pray for a few women and call them occasionally. The first time I called Bahar, I forced myself to dial the numbers with sweaty hands. What if I was bothering her? What if she didn’t really want to talk to me?”
As I got to know Bahar, I discovered we had several interests in common, including a passion for God’s word. I also realized how much we both needed someone to talk to. That was twelve years ago. Today, she’s one of my go-to girls if I need prayer, a word of advice, a listening ear, or someone to laugh myself silly with.
I’ve seen these scriptures come to life in our friendship:
1 Thessalonians 5:11, Proverbs 27:9
Many Christian women live overwhelmed by the demands of their families, jobs, ministries, or even their studies. Most of the time, we’re just trying to hold ourselves together and we’re doing it alone. We need the encouragement and accountability of spiritual friendships, but who has the time?
Insecurities hold us back. We look at other women and think, “She has it all together. What do I have to offer? Would she even like me?”
We don’t realize other women look at us and think the same thing.
Do you have any faith sisters in your life?
If you don’t, how about praying for some? Growing a friendship with a faith sister is one of the healthiest things a woman can do for herself. Look around and consider if you already have a friend or acquaintance you feel drawn to. Be more intentional about reaching out to her.
Three Ways to Make Faith Friendships Part of Your Life.
Keep it Simple
Start by telephoning your friend more regularly. (You might prefer texting; I find a phone call more personal.) Meet for lunch once a month. Perhaps you and two friends can make a threesome.
Be Intentional
Have fun with your faith sisters. Laugh with them, but be intentional to forge a spiritual connection. You might try one of these ideas when you see each other:
- Share 3 things you’re thankful for and 2 concerns you have.
- Share prayer requests and pray together.
- Keep each other accountable to read God’s Word. Share with each other a favorite scripture you read the past week.
- Read a short passage together. Take turns choosing it.
Stay Connected
Even if you can only meet once a month, stay connected. Keep in touch by phone or social media and keep praying for each other. Send a text or quick e-mail to cheer your sister on.
Fellowship with faith sisters helps us grow spiritually. We inspire and motivate each other. We hold each other up during hard times. Hopefully we have fun together too. Sometimes I laugh to remember my friendship with Bahar started with a phone call I was almost too scared to make.
Now it’s your turn: Tell us about one of your faith sisters. Do you know someone who could use an encouraging phone call or text today?
Did you enjoy this post? You can subscribe to get fresh servings of Faith Spilling Over delivered to your inbox. Enter your e-mail address in the box at the top of this page.
I’m linking up with Suzie Eller’s #livefreeThursday. Suzie’s prompt is “See her.” Also joining Holly Barrett’s #TestimonyTuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRaLinkup, Crystal Storm’s #IntentionalTuesday, Jennifer Dukes Lee’s #TellHisStory, Lyli Dunbar’s Thought-Provoking Thursday, and Arabah Joy’s Grace and Truth. Check out these communities for more encouragement.
Re-edited from my archives.
I would add one more phrase to your wonderful list and that is: Open your eyes!
The faith sister I have in mind today is the mum of one of my boys’ best buddy, and I spent years lamenting the fact that I had so few friends and so little time to connect with other women — when it dawned on me that even though my sweet friend and I are as different as day and night, God could use those differences, and I’m so thankful for the gift of THAT kind of friendship!
Yes to Open your eyes! I totally agree with you on that. There are all kinds of people around us that we’re not even noticing. My friend I describe here is quite different than me: nationality, age, etc. God has things in mind that we’d never think of!
I agree with this completely, Betsy. I was just thinking yesterday about how blessed I am to have friends who will support and encourage me through struggles, and also rejoice with me in victories. I am honored to be able to do the same for them as well. You are so right – in today’s busy culture, those friendships with our spiritual sisters are sometimes the last thing on our priority lists. But I’ve come to realize how important it is for me to cultivate those relationships. Great post today!
Oh Kristine, it’s true that they get moved to the back burner. I appreciate you, friend. Actually I could write a whole post on the time I texted you and Kathryn, “Please pray for me, I’m so scared I’m about to cry.” Remember that? I so appreciate you. You girls were there for me at a crucial time for me. Thank you.
Oh Kristine, it’s true that they get moved to the back burner. I appreciate you, friend. Actually I could write a whole post on the time I texted you and Kathryn, “Please pray for me, I’m so scared I’m about to cry.” Remember that? I so appreciate you. You girls were there for me at a crucial time for me. Thank you.
Love this, Betsy! And, I’m so thankful for the faithful women who have invested in me along the way. Better together!! xo
Yes, I’m grateful for older women too, and for the young ones as well!
Wonderful post, Betsy! Thank you for the reminder that “Faith Sisters” are so very important and that we need to be intentional about securing and growing those relationships.
Yes, Deborah. I hope you have some special sisters too. 🙂 You have so much to offer. I can tell from your writing. 🙂
I left some dear dear faith sisters behind when we moved last year. But I still try to keep in touch via email and texts and visits back and forth when we can.
I miss them and the decades we did life together.
Meanwhile, I’m meeting some really delightful women in this new place, and see the potential for growing relationships. I’m grateful. Reaching out can be hard for us introverts.
And all you online friends? How good God is to have brought us together!
And then I remember that song, ‘make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold’
{smile}
Oh that is hard to have moved away from friends, Linda. I know that feeling. I have a group of 2 girls, college roommates, and we’ve been friends for 30 years, but rarely get to see each other. They are there for me though. But your situation of doing life together for decades. My Turkish sister is the closest I have to someone like that!
I’ve been thanking the Lord for faith sisters lately- especially as I’ve been blessed several weekends in a row by visiting with several of my dearest ones! Thanks for the encouragement and practical tips, Betsy!!
So glad you’ve gotten to visit with some of yours! I got to take a “sister day trip” with one of mine and give a birthday party for her last week. Blessings, Bethany.
Great Tips, Betsy! I especially liked this idea, “Share 3 things you’re thankful for and 2 concerns you have.” Sometimes, we just need a place to start. I’m definitely trying this. Hugs to you!
I love this because it helps us share the good and the bad. Shows us how we can pray for each other. 🙂
This is so important to have in our lives! We need the encouragement of others and we need to encourage them as well! Thanks for the reminder! Stopping by from #IntentionalTuesday!
Thanks for stopping by, Rachel! Yes, the encouragement goes both ways.
Great ideas! I love your term “faith sisters”. As a military spouse, forming lasting friendships is extraordinarily difficult for me. After 20 years of moving around, I have met a TON of wonderful ladies but I very few close friends. I’m envious of people who have the option of keeping the same friends for more than 2 years. My biggest problem right now is apathy. I’m tired of starting over and no longer feel motivated to put in the effort.
Oh Elizabeth, my heart goes out to you. I’m sure it’s hard to make lasting friendships. Living abroad, we’ve had to say goodbye to many friends, even though we’re in the same place. It was so hard on our kids. (Life is challenging here, so few people make it beyond 2-5 years…) I know what you mean about having to work up the energy. My Turkish sister is my longest term friendship here. But I do have 2 friends from back home that are 30 year old friendships. We only see each other every two years though…But we are close somehow…
Firstly, so thankful for our sister friendship and the great encouragement you are to me, Betsy. Over the last few years, I’ve seen several very close friendships fall apart because of life changes and difficult circumstances. I tend to be such an introvert and often think I’m fine alone. But recently, God has been encouraging me to step off the sidelines in many ways and one of those is building new face to face friendships. In fact, I reached out and had coffee with a new friend from church just last night and it was such a sweet confirmation from the Lord about how valuable those relationships are. Thank you for reaffirming that for me today. Big hugs!
Yes, Tiffany! I also thought of our online group when I wrote this, but I lacked the space to talk about it here. I’m SO GRATEFUL for you too. Wow, I’m so glad you took the time (and made the brave step!) to have coffee with a new friend. Our friendships are valuable, indeed.
great post betsy:) you have a lot of helpful suggestions for finding spiritual sisters of all ages with whom to grow. i think one of the most helpful ways praying helps us is that it opens our eyes to people who we haven’t paid attention to for this very purpose…either we think they don’t need us, or we think we don’t need them. either way, it isn’t the truth!
we need all kinds of people to be in our circle of friends. they all teach us about Jesus! they all teach us something that will grow us deeper in our trust of GOD for sure!
Yes, you’re so right, Martha, that we need all kinds of friends. I never imagine I’d learn as much from a woman 15 years younger than me as I have learned from her, but I have. As I’ve gotten “older,” it’s harder for me to reach out to younger women, but I keep doing it when God moves my heart. It’s a step of faith! I’ve been blessed by sisters of all ages too. My “bestest” mentor is 75!
Betsy,
One of my very best faith sisters moved to Florida. It makes it a little bit harder to stay up to date with each other, but we’ve been prayer warriors for each other for 20 years – a relationship worth fighting for. I will get to visit with her when I visit my mom in Florida in September. I also find it’s good to have faith sisters that are both older and younger than I am for perspective and mentoring. I’m totally on board with you!
Blessings,
Bev
Yes, I agree about the ages. It’s nice to have a mix. Sorry about your “faith sister” moving. That does make it harder. I have 3 long distance friends as well who pray for each other faithfully.
What a practical and encouraging post, Betsy! Don’t you love our faith sisters!
I’m sharing this one all around today and tomorrow!
Thank you for being a faith sister to me!
You bless me!
Aw, Melanie! You bless my socks off. I don’t know how you manage to encourage so many people. May the Lord bless your ministry, sister!
Betsy loved this and how you developed your relationship with Behar. Friendships are so important, and one of my best friends that I connect with I try to meet once a month for lunch. That does not always happen. Her life is not busy and she is ready to go and just waiting on me right now during one of the busiest times of my life.
You blessed me this morning to stop and try and make the time. It matters. She matters.
Grace to you as you seek to make time for your friend. I know that even once a month will often seem like a big commitment! You have SO much to offer, Debbie!
This post really resonated with me and I will be including a link in my next Friday Faves post. I’ve been blessed with many awesome friends of all ages, in groups small and large and individually. For me, the most important thing to keep in mind is that good friendships are not all about me. Blessings to you and yours!
Marie
That’s so wise, Marie! Good friendships are not all about me. It’s easy for us to get “me-centered,” isn’t it?
community is one of God’s favorite ideas and you’ve expressed it so well. that’s one reason I talk about simple hospitality so much – women are lonely and a store bought muffin and a teabag is all we need to help dispel loneliness in another and in ourselves. (feel free to join my FB group on Hospitality called Welcome Heart Welcome Home – would love your input to the group)
Thanks for the invite to your group, Sue. I’ll check it out sometime. I’ve written a few things on simple hospitality too. We make it way too hard.
Hi. My name is Ness. I am 62 and live in B. I do believeelleville IL. My husband died a year and a half ago and so did my friends! I do believe God led me to this site. I am enjoying reading your posts.
I’m glad you’re enjoying reading my words, Ness. Blessings to you!
You know, I’ve had this post sitting to read for days and I finally got to it. I guess God wanted me to see it. 😉 It gets harder and harder to meet up with friends the more kids I’ve had. But I think God would want it otherwise. I’m a homebody, and I can have friends come over to the crazy (if they’re willing) because we need each other. Thanks for nudging me in the right direction, Betsy! 🙂
Oh Kelly, I can imagine how you feel! I hope you can connect with some friends soon. Blessings and grace upon you and your family. I’m sure God has just the right faith sister(s) for you!
This made me really think about and appreciate my faith sisters and the many ways they inspire and encourage me. It has also encouraged me to be more intentional to connect with others – I loved the “Be Intentional” ideas! Thanks for sharing and motivating me to take some time today to call, text, or even send a card to sisters needing encouragement. Blessings, Michelle
Blessings to you back, Michelle! I pray God will use you greatly!
Good morning Betsy!! Stopping over from #livefree today. I’m so grateful I get to be your “sister”. Have a blessed day dear one!
Grateful for YOU, Cindy. Thanks for reading. You have a blessed day too.
Love this wisdom and you sister! Have a blessed day Betsy! ❤️
Thanks, Dyana. Lifting a prayer for you now, sister!
Outside of God, my faith sisters are my life-line! They truly are gifts and are so worth each and every bit of effort it takes to care for the relationships! Beautiful, Betsy! Love it!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Thank you, Lori! Mine encourage me as well. A lifeline, as you say. 🙂 May the Lord bless you!