After twenty years of marriage, my husband and I often laugh about our differences. When he feels burdened or pressured, he goes quiet. He needs time to think and pray. When I feel stressed, I talk about it.
I talk about what’s bothering me. I tell my husband, I mention it to my kids, and I call my girlfriends to tell them about it too. Then I call my mom. Then I tell my poor husband about it again. Sometimes I just feel the need to vent, you know what I mean? When I’m worried, I fret aloud without realizing it.
If my husband’s concerned about a decision, he asks one friend for advice. When I have an important decision, I ask ten people for their opinion.
Are you sensing a pattern here?
I process things verbally. I reduce my stress level by giving voice to my thoughts. But I’m learning I need to be careful.
My words influence the atmosphere of my marriage and home.
Ephesians 4:29 says:
When I read this verse, I thought, “Unwholesome talk means profanity, right? Of course I don’t use vulgar language.” However, a bit of study revealed interesting synonyms for “unwholesome talk”: rotten words, foul, worthless, harmful, or polluting language.
Can you imagine rotten words spewing out of someone’s mouth, polluting the atmosphere around them? Not very appealing, is it?
If I’m not careful, I can pollute the atmosphere around me with rotten words.
Recently I wrote how I want to be a Fresh Water Woman who speaks life rather than a Salt Water Woman who spews out negativity. In the same way, I want fresh words to come out of my mouth instead of rotten words.
Follow this link to join me over at Sweet to the Soul to read the rest of this post. You’ll find 3 questions that help us think before we speak, so that our words will bless our listeners rather than weigh them down.
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I can really relate, Betsy. I often talk through things to process them but knowing what to hold back is not always easy. Thank you for your sound advice, my friend.
Happy Easter!
Yes, Marva, I’ve been realizing how I sometimes just need to keep my mouth shut rather than saying everything I’m thinking. It adds stress to our home! May God give you and me both grace, friend.
I really have to watch my words as well. Just recently I had a wake-up call when I heard my youngest son sputtering about something and realized . . . he sounds just like ME! Ouch.
Betsy,
I am learning to watch my words that I speak not only to others but myself. I recently memorized the fruit of the Spirit passage to help me in that task. It has been a huge help in avoiding strife and keeping a peaceful spirit. Thanks for sharing this powerful reminder to make our words that we speak a gift to others. Have a wonderful weekend and a blessed Easter Sunday!
How good and so true! I need to talk out my stresses and also want to be a godly wife in the process. Learning what to say and not to say are so important. I think I have learned some of my lessons by the doing and words regretted and apologized for. I pray that God continues to teach me where my tongue can go and where it cannot go!
Thank you so much for this great word.
Oh, yes, Linda. I’m also trying to learn what to say and what not to say. I need Holy Spirit Guidance!
HA Betsy. I can’t relate. I wish I could be more like you rather than your hubby and I wish my hubby were more like you too. But I agree we all need to watch our words with others. Sometimes I have been guilty of spouting off to quickly instead of keeping my mouth shut.
Great post!
I am going to copy your post, put it in my file and read it every day. I am just like you and my husband is like yours. Sometimes we can meet in the middle but post of the time we try to give each other grace to each other and we have made it 52 years without destroying our relationship completely. After so many years we know each other so well we both know how it’s going to go. Great post.
“Can you imagine rotten words spewing out of someone’s mouth, polluting the atmosphere around them? Not very appealing, is it?”
Now there’s a word picture that drives the point home. Love this post! = )
Hi there Gwen, so glad you stopped by here. Yes, that word picture kind of stuck with me too.
Yes, my husband has had to remind me to not ‘dwell’ on things. He is so good that way! I think part of the reason we want to talk to more people about our stuff is because we, as women, are relational. This isn’t so much of a bad thing as long as the people we share with point us back to God. Not many do that, sadly. Most just grumble right alongside us which makes it all worse! Just another reason to limit the number of people we share with…that’s what I have learned. These people must be trustworthy and they must direct me to God’s word. Thanks for lining up with Grace and Truth!