Do you ever feel like you’ve been transported back to middle school? Your husband says something that rubs you the wrong way, or a friend hurts your feelings. Before you know it, you’re walking around with a chip on your shoulder. Because life is so unfair, and no one likes you.
I need more of Jesus to steady my heart on middle school days, and how does a grownup woman still have those, for crying out loud?
Recently I had a junior high moment when two dear friends unintentionally hurt my feelings. Now I know they both love me to pieces, but here’s how it went down. First, my closest friend didn’t have time for a coffee date.
“That’s okay. I understand,” I said. I really did. Of course she was busy with her own life, which doesn’t happen to revolve around me, right?
I didn’t think about it again until four days later, when a younger friend didn’t invite me to her birthday party. She invited my daughter and most of our mutual friends. Ouch! Again, my logical side said, “Well she is 20 years younger than me. Maybe she sees me like a mom rather than a friend?”
My head understood, but my heart felt left out. I immediately linked this to the first friend not having time for coffee. Satan started whispering lies: “No one appreciates you. You don’t even have any friends.” I spiraled downward. Poor me. I don’t even have friends. No one ever calls me.
Hello Middle School.
Do you ever feel this way? How does a full-grown woman end up here?
I realize all over again that I still need a best friend. I long for a best friend who says, “I’m sticking with her for keeps.” I want the security of having someone who always saves a seat for me and invites me to her birthday party.
Time and time again I forget I already have a Best Friend.
My Best Friend loves me like no one else can, and scripture describes what He’s already done for me:
If you have middle school days too, let’s remember together 3 secrets to staying in touch with our best friend.
1. Open the Door
Jesus is never too busy for us. He stands ready at the door. We just need to open it by calling His name. He’s always waiting for us to invite Him in, and He always comes when we call.
2. Practice His Presence
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if our first words each day were “Good morning, Jesus”? Maybe the best way to cultivate an ongoing relationship with Jesus is to practice His presence, to remember Him and talk to Him throughout the day. So often I go through life as if He wasn’t there.
On hard, bumpy days, it helps to tell Jesus exactly what I’d tell my best friend. When something’s bothering me or I’ve got the crazies, I can let it all out to Him. He’s always a safe person to talk to.
3. Read His Word
Reading God’s Word helps me get to know my Friend better. We connect through scripture. His love for me becomes more real. He speaks encouragement to me, and I understand more about how He wants me to live.
We can’t find a more faithful friend than Jesus. Let’s be intentional to open the door and invite Him in to what we’re doing and how we’re feeling today. He’s not only our Savior and Lord. He’s our closest companion.
Now it’s your turn: Am I the only one who has middle school days? How do you stay in touch with your Best Friend?
Did you enjoy this post? You can subscribe to get fresh servings of Faith Spilling Over delivered weekly to your inbox. Enter your e-mail address in the box at the top of this page.
This post is part of a January series called “More of Jesus.” Last week’s post was:
One Wonderful Word When You Need More of Jesus
I’m linking up with Holly Barrett’s #TestimonyTuesday, Kelly Balarie’s #RaRaLinkup, Brenda Bradford Ottinger’s #ChasingCommunity, Lyli Dunbar’s #ThoughtProvokingThursday, and Arabah Joy’s Grace and Truth. Check out these communities for more encouragement.
Great word! Thanks for sharing!This blessed me today.
Thanks for reading, Joy.
Betsy- I love this honesty. And no, you are not the only one who has middle-school moments. It’s discouraging how offend they creep up and a reflection of when our identity isn’t in Christ. I love your list- especially the “open the door” step. It’s simple, but often the most difficult.
It’s so great to stop by and re-visit you again! Happy New Year!
Happy New Year to you, Karen! I’ve missed you! Glad I’m not the only one. 🙂
OH, Betsy, so sorry about the bruising of your heart. Thank you for turning those disappointments into teachable moments for your on-line friends — who love you and wish we could have coffee together!
Thanks, Michele. These two real life friends also REALLY love me. It was just one of those things, you know? Maybe some day we WILL have coffee together. 🙂
With out frequent moves comes changing of the friends. And I have really learned to take to heart your message, that Jesus is my very best friend. No woman can take His place. Thanks for this great reminder! XO
Oh Liz, I can only imagine. This is a lesson that gets easier for me, each year, thankfully. 🙂 But yes, last year when we were in Dallas, I sometimes felt lonely, relocating to a place for just 9 months…Grace to you, friend. Praying for you now.
I definitely have those days! This lesson was so needed Betsy. I find my self doing the very same thing – reading into situations when in reality, there’s a perfectly good explanation. I am thankful to be reminded of my Best Friend today:) Thank you so much for this!
I know, right? It’s so easy to read into situations. The funny thing about the birthday party was that just a few weeks earlier, I myself had given a party for a friend and realized I hurt someone’s feelings not inviting them. I could totally understand. 🙂
We all have those, don’t we.
Thanks for teaching us that we can find satisfaction and every thing we need in our Best Friend, Jesus.
Great to visit you Betsy as usual.
God bless
Yes, Ifeoma. We find everything we need in Him. All the time.
Well- this probably sounds bad but from a 20 something- thanks for saying this as a “full grown woman” years ahead of me!! Middle school moments make me feel immature, but this reminds me some struggles are less about maturity and more about our nature and the ways this world will never be enough for us. But Jesus is and will be. Thanks Betsy for the honesty and wisdom!
Oh Bethany, you have made my day!Thanks so much for this comment, sweet friend. It makes me feel better too, to know that I’m not alone. 🙂
You’re not : )
Betsy, your friends are so blessed to have you nearby. I’m sorry you’re feeling left out some, lately. Satan sure does like to twist everything around, making us feel unwanted, doesn’t he? And all so he can make us forget who our Friend above all friends is. He knows how the story ends so he’s desperately trying to do all he can, while he can. — Wish you lived here! I don’t even like coffee, and I’d have coffee with you! 🙂 I know you’re a great friend to many…and a blessing. ((hug))
Yes, maybe we’ll have coffee some day, Brenda. I actually don’t feel this way anymore. This was about 4 months ago, but hey, things like this happen to all of us, don’t you think?
This hit me right between the eyes: My head understood, but my heart felt left out. My head and my heart rarely agree on anything friendship related, why is that?
Thank you for the gentle reminder who our best friend truly is….
Thank you, Sarah. Yes, I need this reminder all the time myself.
Oh yes Betsy! I have middle school moments and I am way past that age. I start the woe is me syndrome in my head because everyone seems to have abandoned me. It’s rather pathetic to even think about.
We do have an amazing friend in Jesus and He will always be there for us. I love how you call us to practice his presence. We need to intentionally invite him into our day. Lovely words friend!
Yes, to intentionally inviting Him in! I was just pouring my heart out this morning, but so often I forget!
Thanks for sharing so vulnerably, Betsy. I think we all have those moments, but sometimes we assume we’re the only one who feels that way — that other women have matured to a higher plane. 🙂 So I appreciate that you’ve not only made some suggestions but been honest about what led you there.
Thanks, Jeannie. I just felt like I should step up to the plate and be real. Because I suspected I wasn’t the only one. 🙂 Thanks.
Yes, I have those “middle school” moments sometimes, too. What a wonderful reminder to cultivate our relationship with Jesus, to remember that our Christianity IS a relationship with Him.
You have them too? Oh I feel better already. 🙂
I have those moments too! Those times are when it’s especially important to remember that in Jesus we have a best friend who will never leave us or let us down. Thanks for this encouragement.
Glad I’m not the only one, Lesley. 🙂
Betsy,
I don’t think we ever truly “outgrow” being hurt by “friends”. That’s probably because human friends are flawed just like us. What a wonderful reminder that Jesus is our best friend and He never turns us down for coffee – He’s always there waiting. I love the thought of saying “Good Morning” to Jesus when I wake up. As always, good food for the soul here…
Blessings,
Bev
I like saying Good Night to Him too, Bev. I think you’re right about not outgrowing best friends.
No, Betsy, you are not the only middle-aged woman who still has middle school days!!!! Thank you for your beautiful reminder of who our best friend is and how to stay connected to Him. I also just love how even in the bruising of your heart, you recognized the lies, grabbed hold of your own attention, and began to preach the truth to yourself — God is absolutely our best friend! Enjoying my time with you, my friend, as I imagine you across the table while I’m reading your post!!
Aww, Deborah. That’s so sweet. I’d love to be able to have coffee with you. Yes, sometimes we just need to preach truth to ourselves. (And you have a way with words: middle-aged woman with middle school moments! 🙂 )
Oh I loved this, Betsy –>’My head understood, but my heart felt left out.’
Yes, yes. This happens more than we’d like. And that tender heart is such a wellspring of our lives, isn’t it …
Thanks for this gentle reminder to tend to its needs, to go to the One who loves us best for the love we crave …
Firstly, friend – I love you and I’d even call you…if I could get the darn time zones down. 😉 I so relate to these words, Betsy. Our thoughts can get the best of us and mingle with all sorts of lies leading us down a path built entirely without reason or truth. I love how you lead us back to Jesus – but then, you always do that so well. Big hugs, sweet friend. xo
I really hate that those feelings still rear up in me! It surprises me when it happens but boy do I have to process through them. Your #3 is usually my cure — because it makes me do the needed heart work. Love you, friend, and I always treasure time talking with you!
I love the way you called them Middle School Days! I’m going to remember that. And yes, so thankful for Jesus, my best friend who always has time for me. Great reminder, Betsy!
Thanks so much for reading, Deb. I appreciate you, friend. 🙂
Betsy! 🙂
This made me smile from the moment I read your title. Actually, saw your sweet face on the link up and couldn’t resist a visit. I have missed my ‘bloggy’ friends and their words and I just didn’t realize how much. But still… this middle school epidemic we women find ourselves experiencing to far from middle school, ugh… yes, I get it. And Yes, I am with you, we need to put Jesus right there in that space. But recently, my dearest friend moved a state away and at my age, putting that time into a friend close by is a little overwhelming. Friendships take time and investment and to be honest, it was hard to see her go. But God… He is so good… He reminds us that He provides all our needs doesn’t He.
Praying for you to feel encouraged and lifted up, as well as cherished by those who think you are AmAzInG! 🙂
Blessings!
Dawn
There’s always something popping up to turn into a potential middle-school day – a middle-school mine field! Like you, I always feel like I should know better! But when I give it to God, kind of like a tangled up ball of yarn – he straightens all those knots out without breaking anything. I just need to give it over to him more quickly! Thank you for give us such good soul-food! Wishing you Shalom for those middle-school moments!!!
Have these more often than I’d care to admit, Betsy. But I too love speaking and practicing His presence all day long! Thanks for the wisdom as always!
I’m glad I’m not the only one, Jill. Thanks for reading today!
I consistently hear women long for deeper friendships. This will be a beautiful, powerful piece to pass on to them…and a great reminder for myself
Thanks for reading, Christa. I agree that we ALL need this reminder. : )
I have those moments more than I care to remember I have remembered that Jesus is always there for me and most of the times he saying you may think you need those friends but I AM ENOUGH!
Yes, indeed. he is enought!