A friend says that more couples divorce over the cap left off the toothpaste than for any other reason. Her statement is personal opinion, but it makes an important point. We tend to blow little things out of proportion.
We’ve all read in the book of Proverbs about the Quarrelsome, Nagging Wife who’s like a drippy faucet. The poor Proverbs man would rather live in a desert than with her (21:19). Most women, including me, easily turn into a drippy faucet. Our husband brought home the wrong brand of detergent from the grocery store, and we let him know. Drip. We see the toilet seat left up, and we remind him one more time. Drip, drip, drip.
All those little drips tear a man down.
My husband Jose is faithful and responsible. He demonstrates love through serving and speaks calm into my chaos. To give you an idea of the kind of man he is, let me tell you about Bad Breakfast Wednesday. Jose usually makes breakfast, but Wednesdays are my turn. One Wednesday I was running late. I let the cream of wheat boil over, dropped a raw egg on the floor, and turned into a ranting hot mess. My husband quietly picked up a dish rag to help me. Then after breakfast, he helped with the dishes. Even though Wednesday wasn’t his turn.
Is my husband perfect? No. He has bad days. He makes mistakes and forgets things. But when I’m busy noticing every little thing he does wrong, I miss the bigger picture of what he’s doing right.
I don’t want to be that quarrelsome, nagging wife who points out every little shortcoming. Instead of tearing my marriage down, I want to build it up. I want to continue growing as a wife, so I’m making a decision:
Let Go of the Small Stuff
You know the small stuff you need to let go of. All those little quirks and things you wish were different about your husband:
- He wears an old t-shirt and jeans instead of the new clothes you bought him.
- He forgot to take out the trash.
- He didn’t notice your new haircut.
Wise wives choose let go of these things. What would happen to our marriages if we decided for one week to zip our lips and not mention them?
Focus on the Positive
What if we decided instead to change our focus and be on the lookout for our husbands’ positive qualities? Does your husband work? Does he ever do a favor for you, play with the kids, or help out around the house?
Communicate Your Appreciation
What qualities does your mate have? What do you appreciate about him? How about letting him know? Write a note, send a text, or tell him how much he means to you. Thank him for the things he does around the house.
The surprisingly simple tip for a better marriage is this: Let Go of the Small Stuff.
It’s so simple, yet we all know that when your husband breaks your favorite coffee cup or forgets your date night, letting it go is hard. How about trying it for one week? Let’s keep our lips zipped when it comes to faultfinding, and express appreciation for positive things instead. Will you join me?
Now it’s your turn: Do you have any drippy faucet tendencies? What do you appreciate about your husband?