“Maybe I could just stay in this bathroom for the rest of my life.” I felt hysteria rise as I fought back tears and nervous laughter at the same time. Hanging out in that bathroom for the rest of my days looked more attractive than walking into the oncologist’s office for a screening.
I took a deep breath. Of course I knew hiding out in the bathroom would not be a good life plan, but I felt powerless. From inside the orange metal stall, I typed out a text to two friends: “Can’t stop crying. Hiding in the bathroom before my doctor’s appointment.”
Miraculously, my phone beeped immediately.
Somehow both friends responded in that moment: “We are praying for you now. The Lord is with you.”
That reassurance gave me the strength I needed to open the stall door and wash my hands like a normal person instead of an unglued woman planning to hide out in the ladies’ room forever. I proceeded to the doctor’s office, where the visit went better than I feared. Nothing hurt, and I got good news.
Through my friends’ care, I saw these scriptures come to life:
What holds us back from friendships with other Christian women?
We need the encouragement of having a few faith sisters, but obstacles hinder us and leave us feeling isolated. The demands of caring for our families, our jobs, keeping house, and holding ourselves together can overwhelm. Who has time for friends?
Our insecurities hold us back. We look at other women and think, “She has it all together. Would she even like me? What do I have to offer?”
We don’t realize other women look at us and think the same thing.
5 Ways to Find the Faith Sisters You Need
1. Pray First
Ask God for friends who will encourage your spiritual growth; pray He will use you to encourage them as well.
2. Start Simple
Look around you. Say hello to the woman next to you at church. Consider reaching out more intentionally to a friend you already have or an acquaintance you feel drawn to. Start by telephoning or texting that friend more regularly. Meet for lunch. Perhaps you and two friends can make a threesome.
3. Be Intentional
Have fun with your faith sisters. Laugh with them, but be intentional to forge a spiritual connection. You might try one of these ideas when you get together:
- Share prayer requests and pray together.
- Keep each other accountable to read God’s Word daily.
- Share with each other a favorite scripture you read the past week.
- Share 3 things you’re thankful for and 2 concerns you have.
4. Stay Connected with Your Faith Sisters
Even if you can only meet once a month, stay in touch by phone to share prayer needs. Send a text to cheer your sister on and keep praying for her.
5. Join a Bible Study or Start Your Own
For the past year, I’ve joined other women at my church to study the Scriptures. I’ve seen the power of women coming together. That’s why I wrote a Bible study based on my book More of God.
Last summer I had the privilege of going through the study with 20 women; their insights into Scripture taught me so much. Several women in our group commented they had fun with some of the creative activities we did together.
Looking for a study to do together with friends?
Consider The More of God Bible Study. It will take you through my book, More of God, and the Gospel of Mark in 7 weeks. Each meeting features:
- Discussion questions based on More of God
- A Bible study from Mark
- An activity to help you to try out new ideas for your quiet time.
- Homework assignments that include 2 chapters of More of God and 5 daily quiet time readings from Mark.
You can download this 20-page study for free! Click on the image below to get your copy:
Fellowship with faith sisters helps us grow spiritually as we encourage and keep one another accountable. Hopefully we have fun together, too. How about reaching out to encourage someone today?
Now it’s your turn: Do you belong to a small group? When was the last time you met a Christian friend for coffee?
Are you facing the challenges of life on an empty tank? Need help renewing your relationship with God?
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Yes, Betsy! Great post on friends and faith sisters. First, I’m so glad your appointment and report went well. And I love your sentiments here. We were never meant to do life alone. I really enjoyed all the points under be intentional. Because praying for each other, sharing Scriptures, conveying our thankfulness and our concerns absolutely deepens our relationships with friends, taking them to a whole new level.
Thanks for the encouragement, Karen! Yes, I’ve used those ideas myself because they are easy and people usually respond well. We need true fellowship!
The support and encouragement of others is so important – we were definitely not meant to do life alone! It is amazing having people we can text in those moments when we need prayer or encouragement and I love your points about being intentional about cultivating these friendships.
Thanks, Lesley! I appreciate your voice here. Just two weeks ago, I met an old friend for tea and had the most encouraging time with her. But it’s way too easy to let things slide and neglect our relationships. 🙂
Betsy,
So glad you had a good outcome. I have some faith-sisters that I call my “Perseverance Posse”. I don’t know how I would have made it through some of the trials over the years without them?? I may STILL be in a bathroom stall somewhere. Praise for texts that come at the moment of our ungluing. Thanks for the reminder to treasure these relationships!!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev, I love that: “Perseverance Posse.” Yes to treasuring our friends.
Praising God for several points from your post. Reaching out to friends is not always easy; especially when you don’t have it all together. The fact that you told your friends the truth about how you felt and where you were tells me you have true friends 🙂 I am grateful you received good results from your test(s). I applaud the balance you shared of having friends and being a friend. I am one who needs time alone to reenergize; however, I learned the truth that we were not designed to live all of life alone. Opening my home to a small group Bible study was a huge and rewarding step. I knew other women who needed what time and study offers; I didn’t realize how much I needed it for myself 🙂
Wow, that is awesome, Charla, that you have opened your home for a Bible study. Really awesome. It has really helped me to be part of a small group as well (even though I also need time alone.)
Just like Moses, we need our Aaron and Hurs! I’ve learned to look beyond pre-defined expectations (age for one) for friendships – and be more alert for the person God’s sends across my path for friendship. God’s friends don’t fit in a box! By learning that, I’ve learned He sends the best friends!
That is so true that we have to look beyond pre-defined expectations. My closest friend is 15 years younger than me and of a different nationality. We come in all shapes and sizes. 🙂
I would be nothing without my own faith sisters. God designed us for community so your five ways to find faith sisters are wonderful. I pray we all know we are loved and because of this there are friends out there who are perfect for us.
Yes, Mary! I wish I lived closer to you because I’d love to have you for an “in-real-life” friend!