For that past year I’ve been praying for something God hasn’t given me yet. Has that happened to you too? I’ve stormed the gates of heaven. I’ve knocked on God’s doors. I’ve claimed His promises, and I’ve even fasted. But I haven’t gotten the answer I hoped for. Nope. Not yet. Not even close.
A year ago, a uniquely gifted and precious young woman I love like a daughter told me she no longer believed in God. I did my best to listen with an open mind and share my own perspective graciously. I kept loving her and kept praying, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard to watch.
I knew God was calling me keep watch and to love His lost Girl. So I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Along the way I’ve learned some things: that there’s always joy to be found in obeying God and loving the people He puts in our lives, no matter what. Because love is always worth it. I’ve also learned some things about prayer itself.
Prayer grows our relationship with God.
More than getting a result we want from God, prayer is a process of growing a relationship with Him. Although in this verse, Jesus was warning His disciples not to make prayer a show to impress others, it also reminds me that prayer is a dialogue between me and God:
When we pray, we have an opportunity to express our hearts to God and hear His. Our father sees and hears us, and we grow closer to Him. That is reward in itself.
Prayer gives us an opportunity to surrender.
I cannot control whether or when this dear girl returns home to her heavenly Father. I can only choose to surrender my own heart and longings to God and say, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). Friend, I know you also pray for people and situations you have no power to change.
Let’s affirm our trust in God’s faithfulness and goodness. When we pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done,” we let go of control and leave our lives and our loved ones in God’s capable and powerful hands
Prayer invites God to change me
Of course we hope God will change people and situations as we pray, and miraculously, mysteriously, He does do that. But when the answer we long for is slow in coming, let’s remember this: Prayer not only invites God to change my circumstances; it’s an avenue for Him to change me.
Will I choose to rest in God’s sovereignty? Will I choose love when people don’t respond as I’d like? Will I choose joy even when my heart hurts because I’m not seeing God work as I’d like? Will I let God have His way in me and trust Him no matter what is going on around me?
I want to say yes to all of these, but it’s not always easy, is it? That’s when God moves me to pray along with the Psalmist:
Friend, I don’t know what unfulfilled hopes you’ve prayed for, but I know they can hurt.
Maybe you’ve prayed for a baby you never got to hold, a job that didn’t materialize, or a healing that hasn’t happened. Perhaps your prodigal hasn’t come home yet. May I encourage you to keep going into that inner room with your Father? Let’s rest our faith on God’s faithfulness and goodness, not on specific results. Let’s find joy today in remembering we have a Father who loves us perfectly and hears us always.
Note: Prayer is one of my favorite topics. Here’s last week’s post in case you missed it:
The Most Important Thing to Remember About Prayer
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And nothing can compare to the peace we receive from God when we cast out cares upon Him. Thanks so much for this reminder. Blessings to you.
Amen! It’s true. Nothing compares to that peace we find in surrender.
It’s hard when God doesn’t answer our prayers as we hope or expect, or when we have to wait a long time and we wonder if the answer will ever come. These are important points to remember. I think it’s often as we seek the answers that we draw close to God and put ourselves in a position where he can work in us.
Yes, you’re right, Lesley! I never thought of that. If we didn’t have needs or things we hoped God would do, we might not seek Him very much. Sad to say, but a little true. It’s true our needs/hopes draw us closer to Him. <3
Betsy,
Such truth here this am.! I like the reminder that just being in God’s presence when we pray is gift enough. So true that often prayer doesn’t change our circumstances, but it changes us. God always answers our prayers, but often in ways WE did not ask for. Great wisdom filled post.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Thank you, Bev. I’m sure you could teach me SO much about prayer, my friend. I’m just learning, let me tell you.
This is the “thing” that I come back to all time, and every time, I think to myself, “I should be mature enough to relax about this.” God is growing me in my prayer life, and I’m thankful. Thank you, Betsy, for sharing your journey here.
Oh Michele! I know what you mean about thinking, “I should be mature enough to—-” Fill in the blank. Trust God. Let it Go. Rest in Him. Etc. It’s a challenge, isn’t it? I’m growing too. Small steps.
It is so hard to keep praying when we don’t see results. But you give us lots of good reasons to continue persevering anyway! Thanks for this, Betsy.
Yes, I want to be one who perseveres in prayer. Just recently heard an amazing testimony of a woman who came to Christ after someone prayed for her for years. 🙂
I love this, Betsy. And so key, as you mentioned, is praying according to God’s will. A verse my mom taught me to pray is 1 John 5:14-15 “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”
What a beautiful verse, Dianne. Thanks for sharing that.
YES! Thanks so much for sharing this. The relationship building is so pertinent to experiencing God’s love which frees us from chains. Prayer is a way to draw closer to him and I have never prayed and NOT felt closer to him. Now I know they say don’t reply on our feelings, but something in me gets freed up to get off my knees and trust — because I know I verbally and whole heartedly put it in his hands. Even just praising him lifts our spirits. I will pin this post, loved it.
Amen, praising Him DOES lift our spirits, doesn’t it Meghan? I’m learning that more and more.
I’m on 4 plus years with prayers for a close relative and feel like I pray the same prayers. It gets old to me, but thankfully it doesn’t to God!
Oh Sarah. I know the feeling. I’m praying now for your relative.
Oh Betsy, I love this. Surrender. Change. Wow.
Thanks, Kristi. <3
Such a wise post on a hard topic, Betsy. Pinned and tweeted.
Thanks so much, Sarah.
Betsy, thank you for sharing this post. Prayer is a precious journey with our God. Sometimes, we pray and pray and it seems like there is no response. Other times, He does respond and it may not be the response we had hoped. Yet through it all, may we trust God, knowing He is a good God and all He does is good. Praying for your friend this morning. She is blessed to have you praying and caring for her!
I love your heart to share your prayer journey with us and teach us along the way. Today I learned that praying can change me.
These words here ——>. Prayer not only invites God to change my circumstances; it’s an avenue for Him to change me. What a blessing to know that God does hear our prayers hand answers. Maybe not as we hoped but in the way that us most needed.
Blessings friend!
More than ever, we need Him.
Not necessarily what He can do or how He answers.
But just His sacred presence.
Everything else falls into place in His time.
I’m still learning what it looks like to trust in the midst of seemingly impossible situations.
Oh, how hard it can be when we are praying for something and faithful and don’t see the result we long for! Faithfulness and obedience are the fruits we often miss in these seasons.
Your post reminded me of something so important…our conversations with God are a dialog. Lately, mine have been more of a monologue. Grateful to remember to give him a chance to speak (and for me to listen!)
Yes, Becky! I want to learn more myself about listening to God. Have the book “Whisper” by Mark Batterson on my list for this year. And your 5 day course looks so good! I will go over to your blog and subscribe. You sound like a kindred spirit when I read your post at Brenda’s.
I’ve been walking in those same shoes with my oldest daughter for three years now. It’s painful and frustrating, and there have been times I’ve felt utterly hopeless in that request. But I have to remember He loves her more than I ever could. So lately, I’ve been praying for fresh eyes to see the bigger picture and a steadfast commitment even when my eyes see nothing happening. Wonderful post, Betsy! Thank you for the encouragement!
Yes, Esther. He loves our girls so much more than we ever could. I’m praying for your daughter now. One thing that helps me is to remember her story is not about me, but about God (and her)! May the Lord renew your mother’s heart with joy.
Dear Sweet Friend, I learned as a child to pray we prayed for 17 years for my dad to come back to the ministry and in my senior year he did. He served the Lord faithfully until he died. I have several things now that seem impossible but with God all things are possible. It is hard when you ask for healing and the healing does not come but I have found each and every time his grace is sufficient my needs. Great post. I love you DIANA
Amen! I love you too, Diana. You’re reminding me that my husband’s family prayed 30 YEARS for his oldest brother, who came to the Lord 10 years ago and has been growing every since!
Oh, the peace of surrender. Love the idea of prayer as surrender. 🙂 Prayer is one of my favorite topics, too. Thank you for this, Betsy. xoxo
I’m learning more and more about surrender, let me tell you, Brenda!
Amen to this, Betsy: “prayer is a process of growing a relationship with Him.” Even when my prayers haven’t turned out how I want, prayer has always drawn me closer to God’s heart.
Yes, it does draw us closer!
My mom went on to 40 day prayer “fasts” when I had turned my back on the Lord as a young adult. Prayer is powerful. Love the points you brought out.
This is so encouraging to hear, Kelly. That you walked away, yet came back! Sometimes we hear discouraging statistics on millenials, yet it will be encouraging, I believing, 15 years down the road, to see how many returned!
I’ve been praying through a particularly tough situation with family. God has simply replied “Trust me”. The waiting is hard but the trust is growing.
Visiting from Lyli Dunbar’s Page.
Yes, Loretta. That’s a good word: “Trust me.” He’s said it to me several times.