Was I crazy or just an idiot? My neighbor was throwing a party to celebrate her 9 year old son’s circumcision. Somehow my kids ended up in the red convertible heading the neighborhood parade. To the tune of a booming drum and screeching clarinet, honking cars took off in a line.
I stood at the curb watching my kids disappear and wondered, “How did I even let this happen?”
We’d only lived in Turkey four months. I barely knew these people. What if I never saw Andres and Camilla again? I imagined calling my mother to tell her I’d lost the kids in a Turkish parade. Irrational fears filled my mind while I tried to enjoy the party.
My heart flooded with relief when my kids returned thirty minutes later. Bouncing with excitement, Andres and the other boys ran off with the soon-to-be circumcised Necat.
Three-year old Camilla was screaming her head off.
“She started crying the minute we took off,” someone said. Awesome. My daughter had screamed for the duration of the parade. By the time I calmed her down, Andres was gone.
“Have you seen the boys?” I asked a friend.
“They’re in there with the hoja who’s going to do the circumcision,” she said, pointing to Necat’s closed bedroom door.
I realized in a flash that my five year old was about to see his friend’s foreskin cut off with a knife. Should I knock on the door and get him out of there? How could I interrupt their once-in-a-lifetime ceremony? I shot up a panicked prayer and waited.
Ten minutes later, Andres bopped out of the room, laughing.
The party happened 13 years ago. Despite my worries, my son was not scarred for life, but he definitely remembers that circumcision up close and personal!
I struggle with fear over my kids.
Are we messing them up by raising them in Turkey? Will they be able to adjust to life in America one day?
You probably never sent your kids off to join a circumcision parade, but I’m sure you can relate to parental anxiety. We worry over chicken pox, depression, learning disabilities, sunburn, accidents, bullying, and poison ivy.
Maybe the hardest part is sending them off. Whether we send them to school, Girl Scout camp, or their first day on the job, we wonder. Will they make it okay in the world?
That same boy who went off by himself in the red convertible is about to leave for college.
Always the worrier, I’m choosing to stand on the Rock and preach to myself.
The One who set the stars in place knows our children by name. He holds our kids in His hands and cares for them more than we do. When we send them out, the God of the universe goes before them. With Him as their shield and rear guard, they’re in a safe place.
When fears of school violence and internet dangers assault us, let’s fix our thoughts on the One who’ll guard our minds in perfect peace as we trust Him. Let’s turn those worries into prayers. God’s bigger than any threat our kids can face.
As much as we might like to hover over our children to protect them from every danger, we can’t. They’ll make mistakes and encounter challenges, but God causes all things to work for good, and He’s got their good in mind We can entrust our kids to His care.
As we send them out into the world, let’s choose wisdom over worry and faith over fear.
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Once again, Betsy, you’ve shared a post that speaks to my crazy mum nature. It does seem that as our kids get older we have to keep putting them in God’s hands — and leaving them there as a matter of policy. (Certainly not because it’s second nature!) On Sunday my oldest son brought his motor cycle to church — he’s married, mind you and very responsible, but I struggled with worry over that until I handed it (and him) over to the One who watches over both of us.
Oh, I can only imagine how you felt, Michele. Grace to you, friend. May the Lord keep your son in His hand. <3
Dear Betsy, even as mom to 3 adult children, sometimes I still worry. Since learning you live in the Middle East, that paradigm has shifted to more of one with gratitude. When o u r eldest granddaughter was going through a challenging time a few years ago (simultaneously with our college son), I made a plaque for my daughter saying, pray (for your child), love, trust. Like you and Michele, I discovered that trusting God to take care of my Babies may seem hard, but it’s the only way. Thanks for staying in touch while penning your new book. Prayers for yours and God’s work.
Thanks so much for your encouragement, Alice. I’m sure you could teach me so much about trusting God with my kids. I’m having to learn it always again and again.
Such a good post, friend! There are so many times as a mom I remember thinking, “What have I done?” and thrown up an on-the-spot prayer to our gracious Father for my kids. I was always afraid of ‘messing up’ and scarring them for life (now with my grandbabies too!) But God is so merciful and faithful. He holds our kids in the palm of His righteous right hand. What a great reminder Betsy:) Oh, and I am looking forward to that book too! Distracted woman? Yes, that’s me!
I know that “What have I done?!!!” feeling Kristine. Thanks for your input here. God is faithful always.
Wow – what an experience. Thank you for sharing this slice from your life years ago… it’s a wonderful blessing for me.
Our kids are grown, we’ve added a daughter-in-love and now a grandboy. Rob and I find ourselves concerned and yet trusting God about all of them now!
Yes… “choosing wisdom over worry and faith over fear” Perfectly expressed!
I’m sure you’re learning trust on a whole new level with grandbabies in the mix, Lori!
I needed this right now (and every day.) my biggest baby girl started middle school this week. It is hard on my heart to watch her bravely get on the bus to go to a new school. I know she is doing fine and needs to grow up, but that doesn’t make it easier!
I’m praying for your sweet girl right now, Sarah. May God hold her in His grip and draw her ever closer.
All parents should read this post. We start becoming little nervous as our kids grow. We should keep a full faith in God that he will manage everything.
Amen, Stephanie! We need to choose faith over fear.
It was probably the best thing you could have done – allowed that “freedom with training wheels.” The more rules our society makes restricting letting kids be kids delays their maturity. Learning through experience is sometimes the very best teacher – and it looks like you did an awesome job! My 4th just graduated high school. My 2nd just became a dad. God equips them for the life and times they’ve been born into – and I have learned, the hard way, to trust Him in that! Letting go and Letting God is a hard lesson – and I’m doing so much better, but I have to continually remind myself! Blessings as you work on your book!
Hah! I love that: “freedom with training wheels.” I too am learning more about letting go and letting God work. I see more and more how I need to let go of control. Blessings on your family. Grandkids! Wow!
Love this! Great reminders ❤️
Thank you.
Betsy,
My children are grown and I still worry about them. The thing is now I have absolutely no control. Gone are the days when I could pick them up and literally remove them from danger. I think this kind of trust as they are older has stretched my trust muscles to a whole new level. Thank you for the reminders that the God who put the stars in place, knows (my) His children by name. And, He is able to work everything (including their failures and poor decisions) together for good. When I get to worrying, I often lift my arms up as if laying my kids literally and figuratively on God’s altar. Great post…
Blessings,
Bev xx
Hah! Yes, we can’t pick them up anymore, can we Bev? And yes, it’s trust on a whole new level. I love that idea of literally lifting your arms. Gonna try that one. 🙂
Choose wisdom over worry and faith over fear. Placing our worries in God’s hands. Your words overflow with wisdom, Betsy! Praying for your momma’s heart as you step into this next season.
Thanks so much, Crystal. I appreciate you.
This is very encouraging as I navigate mamahood and seek to parent from TRUST and not FEAR! Thanks for sharing!
Oh Karissa, I’m still learning it myself. I’m sure I could learn from you too!
As I have grown as a mother I am reminded again and again that there is often no RIGHT answer…just making decisions which seem as wise and faithful as I can be at the time. And then…entrusting them into God’s care where they belong. It is hard when you are second guessing whether the decision you just made was either wise or faithful though LOL. Thanks for sharing this memory.
I like that perspective on now right answers, Ruth. Just the best we can do and choosing trust!
Oh my goodnesss! What a story!! I have toddlers now, and I’m not sure they would attend any circumcision parties. But you are definitely speaking truth. If we trust God with our children, He will provide all that we need for them and give us direction, even in the midst of our worries. (And I worry – although I know worry is a mistrust of God – that I am not doing enough for them ALL THE TIME). #Salt&Light
Thanks for your comment here, Brittany. I KNOW what you mean about that nagging worry, “Am I doing enough? Am I a good enough mom?” I like the idea of doing the best we can, letting go of perfect, and embracing our best “good enough.”
This is such a timely word for me. Just yesterday I lost sight of my 2.5 year old daughter while we were out clothes shopping. I was so worried when I couldn’t find her! That feeling of fear has stuck with me.
We should definitely use common sense to keep our kids safe, but ultimately we have to trust God. I needed this encouragement today!
Oh Shannon! I can imagine how you must have felt. That happened to me a few times too when my kids were small. I like what you’re saying about using common sense, but also choosing TRUST when things are beyond our control.
My Goodness, I would be traumatized to see that! Yes, I totally get the worry and even anxiety of every little choice we make for your kids. It’s a scary world, but I always come back to the fact that God controls all things. That one little word “ALL” is something I struggle with, I’m reminded that I don’t have to understand everything to have faith. Thank you for sharing your heart, the heart of a mother…that so many of us relate to. Great encouragement for me.
Glad you were encouraged, Jen. Lord, strengthen and renew Jen’s mother heart each day. Give her grace to trust you with her kids.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story-made me laugh. And I so needed this reminder. My oldest starts Kindergarten in a couple of weeks and my heart often fills with worry and the mom guilt sets in. Thank you for reminding me that God loves her so much more than I do.
Oh April, I can imagine how you feel about your daughter going off to kindergarten! May the Lord bless her and go before her, give you peace.