Do you ever get hot and bothered when people unexpectedly change your plans? Like that time I didn’t expect visitors to arrive two hours early and find me in pajamas.
After a leisurely Sunday breakfast, I was cleaning the kitchen while my husband took our daughter to skating practice. I looked at the clock. Our house church started at noon. If I timed everything right, I could take a shower and finish preparing the lunch I’d serve to fifteen people at the end of the meeting.
The doorbell interrupted my thoughts. The first guests had already arrived.
Panicked, I ran down the hall to my son’s room.
“Andres!” I called. “Answer the door! I’ve got to take a shower!”
I raced to the bathroom, locked the door, and somehow emerged fifteen minutes later with clothes and makeup on. I’d love to say I was calm and peaceful while I made tea and talked with our visitors, but I’d be lying. On the inside I was uptight and fretting over how I was going to get lunch ready.
I worried needlessly. We ended up having a great meeting.
Believe it or not, I’ve found myself in pajamas when guests arrive lots of times.
I live in the Middle East, where spontaneity reigns supreme. People arrive late, early, or they may pop in for an impromptu visit. You plan tea and cake for three ladies, but eight show up.
Looking on the bright side, this relaxed approach to life makes for many happy surprises. But it can also be hard for a planner girl like me. A girl trying to represent Jesus to the people around her. Only they can’t really see Him if she’s in a snit because they’re bumping into her plans.
People Change Our Plans
You probably face unexpected interruptions because you have people in your life too. The school calls to say your child is sick. Your teen ran out of contact lens solution and tells you about it as you pull into the driveway after a grocery store run. Your husband needs a favor. Most days bring at least one assignment you didn’t count on.
I get frustrated more often than I’d like to admit when my people need something I didn’t expect, but I want to change my reactions. Just in case you do too, here’s a plan we can work on together:
Letting Go of Hot and Bothered When your People Bump into Your Plans:
1. Stop in Your Tracks and Say Goodbye to the Old You
The Old Me gets bent out of shape when someone needs a favor while she’s busy. She gets a martyr complex and starts an inner rant about boundaries. If you’re anything like me, stop in your tracks when that inner rant starts and decide to let go of the Old You.
2. Let God Renew Your Attitude
Of course we need healthy boundaries, but sometimes what we view as an interruption might be God’s assignment. Will we be faithful and go the extra mile to serve someone else? As we ask the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts and change our attitudes, He’ll give us the grace we need.
3. Put on the New You
Think about how Jesus would respond in your situation. Then in faith put on a smile and do that. Do that Jesus thing. Put on the New You, the one created to be like God. Maybe the most important thing we can do to be like God is to put on love.
The next time someone needs something I didn’t expect, I don’t want to get crabby on them. Instead, I want to consider that it might be God’s assignment, an opportunity to step out and put on the New Me, created to be like Him.
Now it’s your turn: How do you handle it when people bump into your plans?
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I totally relate to this. I am also a planner and struggle to deal with it well when my plans are disrupted. I am definitely better than I used to be, learning that I don’t always need to be in control but that God can use the interruptions and times when things don’t go as planned, but it is still a challenge. The verses about putting on our new self are helpful.
Yes, Lesley! It does have to do with letting go of control! I’m trying to learn that one too. So freeing, yet so hard.
Goodness! This is so relevant for me because my plans often sit on a nice little altar. God is good at toppling them and teaching me, but this is one of my hardest points of discipleship. Thanks for sharing your own struggle.
You’re in my prayers!
Ha! I never thought of that, but we do have our plans up on that nice, orderly altar of our own making, don’t we, Michele? Thanks for your encouragement.
How is it that you always know exactly what I need to hear?? (I’ll be saving this one for later, just in case.)
Hahah! You’re cracking me up here, Kristine. I personally would probably benefit from reading/reciting the three steps every DAY! 🙂
Great post and so needed. When we are not flexible we lose and others do too. I am a Martha getting frustrated easily. It’s been a learning experience trusting God to make me a good Martha, one who is an others person. Again , great post.
I love that encouragement to let go of frustration, Betty! Excellent point. We lose out and so do those around us!
Betsy, first of all I’m glad we’re parked next to one another at Jennifer’s today. I must live under a rock because I did not realize you were living in the Middle East – I thought you and your family lived in Texas. (Where have I been?) Your work-in-progress sounds very good. Looking forward to it. My love to you and yours. xo
No, I don’t think you live under a rock, Susan! 🙂 Yes, I’ve lived in the MidEast 16+ years, but am from Texas, and was on home assignment in 2015/16. I’d say your connecting me with Texas means you’re more attentive than most! 🙂
This is SO me. I’ve decided to go ahead and take a shower first thing, because I have spent too many times rushing around at the last minute to get myself ready. Then my confidence plummets, and I’m sure it shows on my face. I think my guests would like to see a more peaceful me over perfect food and clean floors.
I know what you mean! I’ve had to get used to the idea that someone could come as early as 2 hours!!! In the US that almost never happens. I don’t think! Yes, to a more peaceful, put-together us, rather than perfect food and floors!
Dear Betsy, I ‘m sure I will need the 3 step attitude adjustment daily with the start of school. How often we forget that we, no doubt, are the ones messing with someone else’s agenda. A good day is when I start it with a prayer for the Lord to show me who He wants to bless through me. I need to pray for more good days. Thanks for the reminder to relax, and give everyone some grace, including me.
What a great reminder, Alice! That often WE are the ones messing with someone else’s agenda. So true. I never thought of that. Thank you. 🙂
My husband’s family is notorious for this. We don’t see eachother often and I think it’s just them being eager, but I’ve been caught a few times in a messy bun and pj’s. I don’t like interruptions, but I love your perspective to be willing to look for the happy surprise and embrace the attitude adjustment as welcomed. Thanks, Betsy.
Embrace the happy surprises. Yes, indeed. That’s funny how even two different families (in-laws) can have different cultures! 🙂
Oh so funny, I’ve only been here (Middle East) three days and it’s already happened to me! I’ve gotten so much better at rolling with the punches and praying for grace in the unexpected but your three reminders are exactly what I needed to continue in and increase my capacity for improving my attitude and flexibility in dealing with people and the unexpected! Especially the golden reminder to let an annoyance be a golden opportunity to watch the Almighty in action and the privilege to get to look back and rejoice in it!
May the Lord bless your time here, Melinda. I think traveling ESPECIALLY opens up opportunities for flexibility. Changes can be hard and irritating! And when you’re traveling in a new country jet-lagged, you’re not always your best. Grace to you, sister!
Oh my goodness! I can totally relate to this! I, frequently, have talks with Jesus to help me change and see the situation from His perspective. Thanks for sharing this!
Frequent talks with Jesus. I love that idea, Tammy. 🙂
Seeing those unexpected things as a God assignment. The hardest unexpected things for me are my husband’s business travels which often upset my plans. His travel plans change frequently and often they’re last minute. I admit I get crabby. I have lived with this for years and I never got used to it, but slowly I am learning it’s a God assignment . I have to step out and totally trust and rely on God in all this.
Oh wow, Rachel. That DOES sound hard. Praying for you now, friend. Lord, pour out your grace and joy over Rachel. Help her with holy flexibility and give her grace to make new priorities for each day when her plans are changed by things outside of her control.
Ummm…yes, I find myself in a snit at times, too. It’s like stopping a giant snowball rolling downhill when those snitty emotions surface. Sage insight, my friend, as always. 😉
A snit snowball. You have such a way with words, friends. Thinking of your family and Coco. Love to you.
Betsy,
I’m a planner too – which can be a good thing, but it also doesn’t leave much room for the spontaneous or the interruptions. I love this – “What we might view as an interruption, God intends as an assignment.” How quick I am to get in a snit when MY precious plans get sidetracked, but I am learning more and more that God has a much bigger purpose and vision than I do and I need to trust Him. Thanks for the attitude adjustment this am!
Blessings,
Bev xx
I just finished Glynnis Whitwer’s book, Doing Busy Better, Bev, and while it’s only one main focus of the book, she talked a bit about letting God set our agenda. I like that: plan, but be FLEXIBLE.
You hit the nail right on the head. I suffer from this problem too. And God keeps teaching me His plan, His purpose, His people always come before my own.
Oh yes, Debbie. His plan before mine. Blessings to you!
Yes! We have to deeply inhale Christ when things get complicated. As I prepare my new normal here in WV, I’m hoping to leave plenty of buffer to avoid the consternation. But I’m sure it will still come, and I pray I remember your suggestions! XO
I love that thought of inhaling Christ. Beautiful! Blessings to you as you get settled, Liz. I’d love to hear more about how you’re doing, what life looks like. Will pm you. 😉