When I had a baby and a toddler, it was hard to get away from home and take a break. I’d barely manage to get myself dressed to leave the house. I’d dash out the door, meet a girlfriend for coffee, then race back home to rescue my husband. Before the car pulled into the driveway, Jose would come outside with the kids. He’d hand the baby over to me, and my toddler would wrap himself around my legs. I’d go inside to find toys all over the house.
Sometimes I wondered if it was worth it. It would take the kids an hour to get enough of mommy after I’d been gone. And it would take me an hour to pick up the house.
But the hardest thing about it? I felt guilty.
I felt guilty for leaving the kids. I felt guilty for imposing on my husband, even though I knew he was willing to help so I could take a break. I felt guilty because I didn’t live up to my Super Woman ideals.
We all know Super Woman.
She’s the one who cleans her house and cooks nutritious meals while effortlessly carrying her baby in a sling all day. She works part time from home and does fun, creative activities with the kids on the side. She volunteers at church and goes to Wednesday night Bible study. She organizes the soccer carpool and never misses a game. Super Woman doesn’t need to take time for herself because the joy of the Lord is her strength.
We think we’re supposed to be Super Woman too, and a lot of us feel guilty that we don’t measure up. Or we’re exhausted from trying.
The good news is that we don’t have to be superheroes ourselves because our superhero is Jesus.
Jesus is good news for tired Super Women.
He died on a cross to set us free from sin, free from guilt. He came to give us abundant life. Jesus wants to set us free from the Super Woman yoke that weighs heavy on our shoulders. He sets us free from the busy trap and calls us to a bountiful life of bearing fruit as we abide in Him.
He says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28)
That’s good news, friends.
That means it’s okay to take a break.
It’s okay to take a 10 minute coffee break or a nap. It’s okay to leave the kids with our husbands or a sitter once in a while. And no one will die if we take a break and let the housework slide a few days.
It’s okay to have free time for fun and relaxation.
It’s okay to leave some margin in our day so that we have time to pick up a book or play with the kids instead of hustling them out the door to the next activity.
It’s okay to say no to extra ministry and work commitments so we can pursue a more peaceful, joyful life with our toddlers or teens.
We’ve been set free so we can rest from guilt and rest in Christ. As we take time to take in His Word and abide in Him, as we rest from the busy trap, we might just discover more of the abundant life He came to give us.
Now it’s your turn: Do you ever get caught in the busy trap of trying to be Super Woman? What’s one step you could take towards a more bountiful life?
I’m excited today to link up with Suzie Eller’s #LiveFreeThursday. Also linking up with Grace and Truth. Check out these communities for more encouragement.
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And it’s all so OK not to be driven by that ever lurking guilt, but instead by sheer love.
Like this, Betsy!
I like that, Linda. To be driven by sheer love. 🙂
AMEN, sister!!! From a recovering wanna-be-supermom, thank you for this reminder! So grateful for my superhero Jesus!! #livefreeThursday
From one recovering wanna-be-supermom to another: I’m grateful for my superhero too! #LiveFree
I love your post, Betsy, and especially the freedom part. I think this is one of the most important lessons we women can learn as we get older: that God wants to free us from guilt and pressure and just let us rest in His love.
Yes, I agree, Jeannie. We beat ourselves up way too much! 🙂
Betsy,
I have jokingly learned to say, in recent years, that my superwoman cape is at the dry cleaners lol. Even Jesus took a break from doing it all, all the time. If refreshment was good enough (and needed) by Jesus, then it is well for me to follow likewise. Thanks for the encouragement!
Blessings,
Bev
That’s funny about your Super Woman cape, Bev. I can relate. I was thinking my Super Woman hose have runs in them and my cape is trailing to the ground somehow…
I do get caught in the busy of life. And then I get crabby. For real. So, I’ve learned to balance the schedule well or all won’t go well. From time to time the schedule busts loose and runs like wildfire, but God, in his strength and grace, is showing me how to rest even in those temporary moments. I must say, though, for me it’s easier now that the kids are older. But, I’m learning that regardless of stage of life, Jesus offers rest somewhere, somehow. It’s always available…sometimes I just need sweet reminders like yours. xo
I get crabby too, Kristi! As in BIG. TIME. Not pretty. Not pretty at all. I also find that with teens, they have more they want to do, or want you to do, even if they CAN take care of themselves. Just more ideas, so I find saying “no” challenging. (And maybe I worry about them more?) But yes, it’s still easier to take a break than it was during the baby/toddler stage!
Love, LOVE this … on my first reading of your title, I thought it said “Super Tired Women” … and of course … I’m ALL THAT! I used to be very good at saying NO. But I’m finding myself in a place where it’s more difficult–and my kids are older, so you’d think there would be less to say NO (or YES) to. I’m approaching a very busy project and this is a great reminder for me to build some margin into my days so I don’t get cranky! ((Hugs))
Hi there, Dianne. I’m laughing about Super Tired Women. (Tired Super Women, same thing, right?) I get cranky myself. And you know what? I find boundaries a little harder with teens because they always have ideas, things they want to do, or want you to do, or places they want to go! Good luck on your project coming up!
I could let myself enjoy a moment to exhale and eat something besides salad for lunch. I think I’m going to go eat a tasty sausage for lunch and journal. Thank you, Betsy! You absolutely hit on a nerve all mamas feel. Visiting from Grace & Truth.
Enjoy that lunch, Christina! And yes, I think I’m going to enjoy a moment to exhale too! Time to breathe is important. 🙂
Building margin into my life is such a good thing! Coming back to the States for a few months, we’ve noticed that intentional space and margin seem to be a “no-no” for so many people. Thanks for encouraging each of us to pursue some recharging still and quiet time 🙂
I know what you mean, Joanna. When we come home, we’re also always amazed at how busy people stay. One difference for me is that in Turkey, we’re “busier” with friendships, which at least feeds my tank a bit…but I still need margin. Always forget that though.
Our Creator took a Sabbath’s rest—1/7 of his work-time and he’s a perfectionist, I think.
Thanks for reading and commenting, Jen I’m sure you could teach me so much about leaving the Super Woman role. (I love our Grace and Truth community.
“We’ve been set free so we can rest from guilt and rest in Christ.” Timely word for me, Betsy. Thank you for the encouragement. : )
Hi, Betsy, I just love this post! I wrote about what I call the Superwoman Myth way back in the beginning days of my blog, so this was a good reminder for me (and for others, too!). It’s so easy to get caught up in the doing rather than simply being – abiding in Him. Thanks for sharing with us at Grace and Truth last week! 🙂
Jen @ Being Confident of This
Thanks for reading and commenting, Jen I’m sure you could teach me so much about leaving the Super Woman role. (I love our Grace and Truth community.)