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Grasping God’s Unconditional When You Feel Unlovable

June 9, 2014 by betsydecruz Leave a Comment

God's love roots deepEver have days when you feel downright un-lovable? Let me tell you, I certainly do. On the tired days when life lurches to high speed, I can snap and snarl. I make a snide comment to my husband. I say something gossipy to a girlfriend. I yell at one of my kids. Again.

Then I regret it and wonder how God could love a mess-up like me. God’s love is the first thing we learn when we come to Christ, but even after walking with Jesus 30 years, I still don’t quite get it. On good days, I’m fairly kind and considerate, but on my bad days, I can get mean and snappy. The people closest to me know it, too. Just ask them! I’m a sinner who desperately needs grace.

Fortunately, God’s love has more to do with Him than it has to do with me. He loves us because of who HE is, not because of who we are.

Paul wrote this prayer for us: “Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is.” (Ephesians 3:17b,18)

How do we grow roots down into God’s love?

Receive it

“For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.” (Romans 5:5, NLT)

Years ago I made a conscious decision to intentionally receive God’s love: to remember it and thank Him for it. During my daily reading, I highlight all the love verses I can find, and I hang on to them for dear life. Turning our focus off of our failings and onto God’s love positions us to receive His gifts of mercy and loving kindness. When others fail to love us as we would like, God’s love brings healing to our hearts. We can step into the flow of God’s love anytime by whispering a simple prayer or worship song.

Rest in it

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” (John 15:9)

When life looks uncertain you can trust that God loves you. When thoughtless words wound you, remember God loves you. When your husband forgets your anniversary, don’t let go of God’s love. When a friend doesn’t have time for a coffee date, rest in God’s love.

Reflect it to Others

“Be imitators of God as dearly loved children, and live a life of love.” (Ephesians 5:1)

Of course it’s easy to love others on good days, but what about the days when your people are rubbing you the wrong way, and they’re definitely not filling your love tank?

That’s when they’re most in need of grace, and you’re most called to love them. When your people are acting downright unlovable, and you decide to love them anyway, you step into the supernatural flow of God’s love and position yourself to receive more of it.

God's love

How about whispering a prayer to thank God for loving you? Who might need unconditional love from you today?

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Filed Under: Prayer, Spiritual Growth Tagged With: God's Unconditional Love, Loving Others, Relationship with God, Undeserved Grace, When You Feel Unlovable

Comments

  1. Deborah says

    June 10, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    How wonderful that God loves us because of who He is! I can remember thinking as a teenager reading the Old Testament that if one of us were in charge, we would have given up on the human race after many less tries and covenants broken. God’s love and patience with us are so amazing! Thank you for this lovely post to remind us we should be reflections of His love to those around us.

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      June 11, 2014 at 3:34 am

      Yes, we tend to think of the Old Testament as stories of God’s judgment, but it’s amazing how merciful He was!

      Reply
  2. Abby says

    June 17, 2014 at 1:52 am

    “He loves us because of who HE is, not because of who we are.” Yes, and I’m so grateful! What a difference it makes to rest in his love and stop trying so hard to understand it. Very insightful post. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      June 17, 2014 at 2:43 am

      Yes, it has made a difference in my life. Blessings to you, Abby!

      Reply

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Hello! I’m Betsy.

I believe overwhelmed women can learn to take small steps to experience more of God's presence and power in their lives. When we hear God's voice through His Word, He calms our fears and frees us to receive His peace and joy. Read More…

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Encouraging women to pursue Jesus and live out His purposes. ⬇️I'd love to give you Free Quiet Time Renewal Guide.

Happy Easter! So grateful to celebrate little Leon Happy Easter! So grateful to celebrate little Leon's first Easter with Elijah, Camilla, and the rest of the family ❤️
I'm so grateful God held little Leon in His hands I'm so grateful God held little Leon in His hands and delivered him safely into this world one week ago today!

Camilla and Elijah are doing such a great job as parents already, and we have a cute little cuddlebug to hold and marvel over! Abuelo José is in awe to be able to hold such a little guy! (PSA, last photo is the best!)

I keep marveling over God's faithful care and keep coming back to this verse: "From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you." Psalm 71:6

#grandbaby #baby #grandmother #thanks
1. When you and your daughter are students at the 1. When you and your daughter are students at the same seminary.  2. And your husband is on staff there!❤️
So excited to begin at @dallasseminary this fall! Diving into Systematic Theology as a first step to my Masters in Christian Education 😍🎉
Such a fun evening last night at Convocation.
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We've enjoyed such a fun and memorable Christmas season. So grateful for family,  loved ones, and for the way Advent cheers our spirits and reminds us of the wonder of Jesus' coming to earth.

#feliznavidad #merrychristmas #advent #joy  #family
I'm so grateful for all the ways God showed up at I'm so grateful for all the ways God showed up at our Women's Christmas Lunch with @northwestbiblewomen . ❤️🎄 This was the biggest party I've ever hosted, totally beyond my capacity. I'm giving God thanks for the amazing people who made it possible:
👉
#2 Cindy Douglas, our Women's Christmas Lunch Coordinator. So gifted.

#3 Our Ninja team who did the work to pull everything off.

#4 Our speakers, @rebeccacarrell  and @beca.inke . So talented. Filled with the Holy Spirit.

(Amazing worship team is not pictured! 😭)

#5 Fabulous table hostesses, who decorated the tables and made women feel welcome.

#6 Men who volunteered to serve, including my own José!

#7 Northwest group life team women, who served as table hostesses and supported me in those moments when I thought I'd lose my mind! 😂

(Not pictured are our lovely greeters and my dear daughter Camilla, who was at my side, one of my best friends. ❤️)

#thanks to all of you! What amazing #teamwork ! ❤️🎄

#joy #christmas #northwestbiblewomen gratitude
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Fortunately, I was not in charge of decorating for Fortunately, I was not in charge of decorating for Sugar and Dice this weekend! Where I would have plunked down autumn leaves and fake pumpkins, my friend Mary had a vision to make our women's social beautiful with these flower arrangments and white pumpkin candleholders.

For me, our event was a fun celebration of women's gifts, and the fact that we are better together!

@kristenains had a great idea, organization, and menu planning skills.
@emileemeeks gave it a cute name and promoted it.
@marystoelzing made it beautiful (and got her husband and his wheelbarrow to bring in all the pumpkins).
@raisinshan led us through the ins and outs of Bunco!
@heyjayes had a willing heart to help with setup.

So grateful to get to serve with such an amazing team of women and for our @northwestbiblewomen community. ♥️

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It's almost 6 months now since I started a new role as women's minister at Northwest Bible Church. I'm so grateful for how God has helped me up to now and for the lovely community of women I get to serve. I've been stretched in new ways, and I'm learning more about desperate dependence on Jesus! He's showing me that the most important thing I can do to serve others well is to cultivate a quiet spirit that waits on God, listens for His voice, and trusts His power instead of running ahead on my own steam! 😅

I'm looking forward to the coming season and continuing to learn how to seek more of God's presence and and trust His power.

Also looking forward to cooler days! What are you looking forward to in this new season? 🍂🍁

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