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Beauty That Goes Beyond Skin Deep

March 31, 2014 by betsydecruz 17 Comments

Beauty Beyond Skin DeepMy 5 year old neighbor, who wears a princess crown, and my 89 year old mother-in-law, who visits the hair salon every week, have something in common: they both want to be beautiful! That longing to be attractive must be part and parcel of being a woman. I read once that women reach the height of their beauty at age 31. I was 31 when I married, and I certainly wanted to be as beautiful as possible on my wedding day.

But if women reach the height of their physical attractiveness at 31, what hope does that leave for the rest of us? Younger women struggle with acne. Middle-aged women face wrinkles and graying hair.

As a girl I l watched my mother style her hair, put on light makeup, and dress with care every day. She taught me that true beauty comes from inner confidence and knowing who you are. “A woman who feels beautiful IS beautiful, at any age,” I thought.  I always said I’d never dye my hair because I didn’t like the message it gave: to be beautiful, you have to look young.

But then I turned 45.

Suddenly I started aging more quickly than ever before. I looked in the mirror and saw the smile lines around my eyes extending down to my cheeks. And when the gray streak at my temples spread throughout my hair, I ran out and had it dyed.

Every woman wants to feel beautiful, but maybe the world’s definition of beauty points us in the wrong direction. We see it plastered all over the media: thin, young women with perfect makeup and hair. When we measure ourselves again them we can end up feeling frumpy and dumpy.

What if that longing to be beautiful is from God,  but it’s really pointing us towards something else? In God’s economy we are never more beautiful than when we are reflecting Him, his character and beauty, to the world around us. 1 Peter 3:4-6 explains what kind of beauty God is interested in:

“What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.” (The Message)

Hope

This message gives me hope because, let’s face it, our physical beauty is always changing; even lack of sleep affects how we look.  Although my outer beauty might diminish as I grow older, hopefully my INNER beauty will grow greater as I learn how to give God’s Spirit more control over my life.  Who knows, maybe an inner disposition that grows sweeter with time will actually spill over into a more peaceful, joyful countenance?

Conviction

Thinking about inner beauty convicts me because it’s up to me to cultivate it by choosing each day to say “yes” to God’s Spirit and “no” to my sinful nature. Honestly I’m not sure what this inner beauty thing looks like when I’m racing to get lunch after a busy morning, and one kid says, “I don’t want a chicken sandwich” while the other one says, “Mom, everyone’s tired of soup.” Believe me, I don’t feel beautiful during moments like those. But I know that every time I choose a smile over snapping back, every time I breathe deep and count to 10 instead of exploding, I’m saying yes to God’s reconstruction work in me.

God's Recipe for Beauty

As we make daily choices to cultivate these qualities, we grow to resemble more fully the Creator who graced us with His beauty when He made us. Which of these qualities do you  most long for?

Beautiful, Amazing You

This is the first post in a five part series I’ll be writing on Mondays called “Beautiful, Amazing You.” Check back next Monday, April 7th, to read “Deeply Loved.”

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Filed Under: Spiritual Growth Tagged With: Attitude, Beautiful You, Beauty Treatment, Cultivate Inner Beauty, Inner Beauty

Comments

  1. Karen says

    March 31, 2014 at 12:44 pm

    Great post! I look forward to reading the rest of the series! 🙂

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      March 31, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Karen.

      Reply
  2. LaNette says

    March 31, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Good reminder as the calendar flips to a new year for me!

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      March 31, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      Happy birthday, LaNette, you are beautiful inside and outside!

      Reply
      • LaNette says

        March 31, 2014 at 1:31 pm

        Thanks, Betsy!

        Reply
  3. barbara r says

    March 31, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    what a beautiful bride! i look forward to reading more of what you share on this, Betsy. i too want to cultivate that inner beauty, and to attract attention to Christ – not to me. thanks for sharing your thoughtful insights.

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      March 31, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      Amen, Barbara. I want to attract attention to Christ too. (And now I laugh to think that I did my own hair and makeup for my wedding. Today’s brides are so sophisticated in comparison, at least they are in Turkey!)

      Reply
  4. Ellen says

    March 31, 2014 at 2:52 pm

    Great post! Looking forward to the series!

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      March 31, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      Thanks, Ellen!

      Reply
  5. Deborah says

    March 31, 2014 at 4:06 pm

    There is something I’ve noticed that I think reflects what you are saying about “God’s recipe for beauty.” I have known women that at first appeared plain until I knew them well enough to see their inner beauty. Then when I looked at them they actually did look prettier to me, and I would wonder that I didn’t see that before. Conversely, I’ve met women who are very beautiful by social standards, but if after getting to know them, I find they are not very nice, it always changes my perception of their outer appearance as well. They never seem so attractive looking to me as they did before! It’s like seeing through a mask or something. Of course there’s the third faction that are beautiful inside and out that we all want to be part of, even though we fight ourselves not to put value on appearance.
    I love your wedding picture!

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      March 31, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      Deborah, you are so right. Someone you know and love looks more “beautiful” to you. and I’ve also come across beautiful people who aren’t so nice, and that affects my perception. Thanks for commenting.

      Reply
  6. Jennifer Flanders says

    April 1, 2014 at 1:15 pm

    Such a timely message for women of all ages, Betsy. We live in a culture that worships outward appearance, but God looks at the heart, and that is where our focus should be, as well. I’ll be back to read the rest of your series. Looking forward to your words of wisdom!

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      April 1, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      “We live in a culture that worships outward appearance, but God looks at the heart,…” That is so true, Jennifer.

      Reply
  7. Lisa says

    April 2, 2014 at 11:01 am

    Great message, Betsy.

    Reply
    • betsydecruz says

      April 4, 2014 at 7:37 pm

      Hey Lisa! Thanks so much for reading.

      Reply
  8. Sabra Penley says

    April 2, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    This is a needed message for me (over 50) and every girl/woman who ever lived! How we need to hear God’s definition of beauty over and over again to drown out what the world claims it to be. Thanks, Betsy. I tweeted about your series. Looking forward to the rest!

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Your True Identity: Dish Washer, Mom, or Princess? | Faith Spilling Over... Into Everyday Life says:
    April 14, 2014 at 5:04 am

    […] is part 3 of a 5 part series on Mondays called “Beautiful, Amazing You.” Part 1: Beauty That Goes Beyond Skin Deep                Part 2: Beautiful, Amazing You: Deeply […]

    Reply

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Hello! I’m Betsy.

I believe overwhelmed women can learn to take small steps to experience more of God's presence and power in their lives. When we hear God's voice through His Word, He calms our fears and frees us to receive His peace and joy. Read More…

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betsydecruz

Encouraging women to pursue Jesus and live out His purposes. ⬇️I'd love to give you Free Quiet Time Renewal Guide.

Happy Easter! So grateful to celebrate little Leon Happy Easter! So grateful to celebrate little Leon's first Easter with Elijah, Camilla, and the rest of the family ❤️
I'm so grateful God held little Leon in His hands I'm so grateful God held little Leon in His hands and delivered him safely into this world one week ago today!

Camilla and Elijah are doing such a great job as parents already, and we have a cute little cuddlebug to hold and marvel over! Abuelo José is in awe to be able to hold such a little guy! (PSA, last photo is the best!)

I keep marveling over God's faithful care and keep coming back to this verse: "From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you." Psalm 71:6

#grandbaby #baby #grandmother #thanks
1. When you and your daughter are students at the 1. When you and your daughter are students at the same seminary.  2. And your husband is on staff there!❤️
So excited to begin at @dallasseminary this fall! Diving into Systematic Theology as a first step to my Masters in Christian Education 😍🎉
Such a fun evening last night at Convocation.
Feliz Navidad from the Cruz family! ❤️🎄 We Feliz Navidad from the Cruz family! ❤️🎄

We've enjoyed such a fun and memorable Christmas season. So grateful for family,  loved ones, and for the way Advent cheers our spirits and reminds us of the wonder of Jesus' coming to earth.

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I'm so grateful for all the ways God showed up at I'm so grateful for all the ways God showed up at our Women's Christmas Lunch with @northwestbiblewomen . ❤️🎄 This was the biggest party I've ever hosted, totally beyond my capacity. I'm giving God thanks for the amazing people who made it possible:
👉
#2 Cindy Douglas, our Women's Christmas Lunch Coordinator. So gifted.

#3 Our Ninja team who did the work to pull everything off.

#4 Our speakers, @rebeccacarrell  and @beca.inke . So talented. Filled with the Holy Spirit.

(Amazing worship team is not pictured! 😭)

#5 Fabulous table hostesses, who decorated the tables and made women feel welcome.

#6 Men who volunteered to serve, including my own José!

#7 Northwest group life team women, who served as table hostesses and supported me in those moments when I thought I'd lose my mind! 😂

(Not pictured are our lovely greeters and my dear daughter Camilla, who was at my side, one of my best friends. ❤️)

#thanks to all of you! What amazing #teamwork ! ❤️🎄

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Fortunately, I was not in charge of decorating for Fortunately, I was not in charge of decorating for Sugar and Dice this weekend! Where I would have plunked down autumn leaves and fake pumpkins, my friend Mary had a vision to make our women's social beautiful with these flower arrangments and white pumpkin candleholders.

For me, our event was a fun celebration of women's gifts, and the fact that we are better together!

@kristenains had a great idea, organization, and menu planning skills.
@emileemeeks gave it a cute name and promoted it.
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@raisinshan led us through the ins and outs of Bunco!
@heyjayes had a willing heart to help with setup.

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It's almost 6 months now since I started a new role as women's minister at Northwest Bible Church. I'm so grateful for how God has helped me up to now and for the lovely community of women I get to serve. I've been stretched in new ways, and I'm learning more about desperate dependence on Jesus! He's showing me that the most important thing I can do to serve others well is to cultivate a quiet spirit that waits on God, listens for His voice, and trusts His power instead of running ahead on my own steam! 😅

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Also looking forward to cooler days! What are you looking forward to in this new season? 🍂🍁

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