I’m ashamed to admit it, but most of the time I make prayer all about me. I come to God with a list of my hopes, my desires and my desperate longings. Then later I may or may not get discouraged when He doesn’t do quite what I’m asking as fast as I want Him to.
I make it all about me.
Just like I used to do with that Matt Redman song, “The Heart of Worship.” My family and I laugh because I’d accidentally sing, “I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about ME.” No joke. Without thinking, I’d belt out, “All about ME.”
Something tells me it was more than a slip of the tongue. It was my mouth singing out what was in my heart: It’s all about me. Often that’s my attitude when it comes to prayer. I make it into a one-way street named “Betsy gets what she wants from God. Hopefully.”
I forget prayer starts with God. Not with me.
When we start our prayer by praising God for Who He is, we start off on the right foot. Praise helps center our prayer on our Father and his faithfulness, instead of on ourselves and our feelings. We put our focus on God’s greatness and love, not on our own wants and needs.
The most important thing to remember about prayer is Who we are praying to.
Jesus taught his disciples to pray by starting out like this: “Our Father in heaven. Hallowed be your name.” When I come to God, however, often the first line out of my mouth sounds a little different:
- Oh Lord, help me get this done on time.
- Father, please provide a scholarship for my daughter.
- Lord, my son needs grace for his test.
Nehemiah is a good example of starting prayer with God. He had plenty of reason to wring his hands and beg God to act. When the book opens, he receives news so terrible that he sits down and weeps: “The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire” (Nehemiah 1:3).
You and I have gotten news that makes us want to sit down and cry too.
That’s why Nehemiah’s prayer is worth looking at. When he prays, he leaves aside his desperation for a moment to focus on the Lord of heaven:
When we start off our prayer with praise, two things happen:
1. The focus of our prayer changes.
Instead of focusing on what we want from Him, we focus first on God Himself. The God of the universe created us to worship, and when we take a few minutes to praise Him for His glory and greatness, we honor Him and put ourselves in right relationship to Him.
2. Our faith is built up and strengthened.
When we start our prayers with declarations of God’s eternal greatness, power, and wisdom, our faith grows. As we call to mind His love and faithfulness, we begin believe He’ll work for our good. He’ll provide, strengthen, and give grace. As we worship, our hearts begin to trust.
Friend, I don’t know what your prayer life is like, but I need to grow. Just for today, each time we pray, let’s start by praising God for His goodness and love. Even one brief sentence honors God and changes the focus of our hearts. Let’s remember Who we’re praying to and honor Him with praise today.
Note: Prayer is one of my favorite topics. Here are more posts to help us grow:
How to Use the Bible to Grow Your Prayer Life
How to Strengthen Your Prayer Life
When You Need More Inspiration for Your Prayer Life
If you’d like fresh servings of Faith Spilling Over dealivered weekly to your inbox, enter your e-mail address in the box in the sidebar. I’d love to send you my free guide, 10 Days to More. You’ll find 10 ways to study and engage with God’s Word.
Linking up with Kelly Balarie’s #RaRaLinkup, Holley Gerth’s Coffee for your Heart, Crystal Storms’ #HeartEncouragement, Brenda Bradford Ottinger’s #ChasingCommunity, Lyli Dunbar’s #FaithonFire, and Arabah Joy’s Grace and Truth. Check out these communities for more encouragement.
Absolutely! This has been on my heart lately too, so your message today is confirmation. Throughout the month of December, I actually made a commitment that I wouldn’t ask for anything for myself in prayer. I resolved to make every prayer about praising God for who He is. It was really hard to do! That told me that I had made it all about me, without even realizing it. You are so right about praise. When I praise Him, problems fade. Thank you Betsy!
Wow! A whole month! I’m sure I could learn a lot from you, Kristine. It’s true that problems fade and we get a new perspective on life when we praise. I have felt so convicted on this.
Betsy, this sounds so much like me to. I try to follow the pattern of the Lord’s prayer so that I keep my prayers God centered and others centered. But note, I said try! It’s true when we start praising Him for what He has done, we start thinking about all the great things He has done and faith booms. You always give such great wisdom. Thank you.
That’s a good idea to follow the Lord’s prayer. I did that for a while last year with some material from Kathryn Shirey. It was helpful. Yes, worship makes our faith grow. Thanks for the encouragement.
Amen! What a crucial shift in thinking. It makes all the difference. But I too often forget to start there. Thanks for this great reminder to put first things first! XO
It does make such a difference for me, Liz. Even one brief sentence of praise changes something in me and the way I relate to God.
Wow, Betsy. This was so spot on and Lord, have I been there. God is convicting me in this too, lately, and aligning my heart with his. It isn’t always easy but it’s worh it. Oh, and I laughed out loud over your version of Matt Redman. 😉
May He continue to align our hearts with his, Abby. I want to keep learning, to grow closer to Him. (I still get tripped up on that Matt Redman song 🙂 )
When I wrote about prayer on my blog, my mind immediately went to you because I consider you one of my “go to” people to learn about prayer. I chuckled when I read how you you “changed” the words of Matt Redman’s song. I am always teased by my sons for not knowing all the words to a song. I just figure it’s more fun that way.
I love how you took the focus off of ourselves and paced it back on God. Starting with praise is a beautiful way to draw us closer to God. I noticed recently as I am going through my day I am thanking God for little things – the lunch he provided, books I’m reading, the sun shining outside, etc. It has made such a difference. Love your thoughts! Can’t wait to read more.
We laugh in our family too about not knowing song lyrics. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement about prayer, Mary. I was so blessed when I read your post a few days ago. It made me smile to think God is teaching both of us. Love that idea of thanking Him for the small.
This is such a helpful perspective, Betsy — thank you. I particularly appreciated these sentences: “When we start our prayers with declarations of God’s eternal greatness, power, and wisdom, our faith grows. As we call to mind His love and faithfulness, we begin to believe He’ll work for our good.” I find the Psalms such a good model in this regard, that constant turning back to who God is and what He’s done in the past.
Yes, I agree, Jeannie. The Psalms have helped my prayer life more than anything. It’s like a mental makeover each time I read one. I need this often!
Dear Betsy, I can always use this reminder about the focus of prayer. I tend to keep a laundry list of prayer request on the tip of my brain most of the time. But, when I make that shift to Him and not me, I feel my spirit relax. I can rest in His presence. The other thing that happens is starting with praise seems to strip away the foolishness of pretend prayer. Praise lifts the veil that separates us from our Heavenly Father. Thanks for the encouragement to start with the Alpha and Omega. Blessings!
Oh I know what you mean about prayer being like a laundry list, Alice. In a post I wrote last year, I called it a fast food order. 🙂 Yes to shifting our focus to His greatness and power.
Perfect reminders for me and many others I’m sure, Betsy! Thanks for always bringing us back to what’s most important. Blessings my friend!
Blessings to you too, Jill. May the Lord fill you with His wisdom and grace as you care for your family these days.
Amen. Betsy this is so true when I start my prayers with praise I center my life on what He can do through me not what I can do. Thank you so much for your beautiful post. Blessings. Diana
Aw, Diana! Your reading this today means a lot to me, friend. Thanks for the encouragement.
Great message and reminder, Betsy!
Betsy,
What simple, yet SOLID truth. I love the prayer by Nehemiah….He starts with God’s greatness and goodness. Somehow, everything pales in comparison (in our prayers) when we start with reverence for God. Declaring His love at the BEGINNING of our prayers, covers what we are about to pray. Thanks for an analogy and lesson I need to carry with me. Let me declare His goodness and lovingkindness first….then go from there.
Blessings,
Bev xx
I’m sure I’ve said it here before, but I rely so heavily on Scripture in praying for my family. As I listen to my prayers, they sound as if I hold to the prosperity Gospel: good health, good jobs, rich provision, it’s all there. And then I read Deuteronomy’s challenge to choose life and the consequences for turning away “so that we do not hear,” and all of sudden my prayers become big picture and my understanding of blessing is much broader.
Thanks, Betsy, for this great focus on prayer. I think I will struggle with it all my days.
What a beautiful reminder, Betsy! I’m definitely right there with you — my prayers are about me and what I want and how I feel. Sometimes, on good days, my prayers might include other people’s prayer requests, too. But I so should start with God first, always and in everything. Thank you for this!
I know what you mean about those good days, Ronja. 🙂 I have good prayer days and not-so-good ones too. I’ve been trying to start each prayer with even a few words of praise. Not a hard rule, but just a heart practice. 🙂
Prayer starts with God. So true! I hate how I sometimes just start in on my list. That makes my anxiety go up, because I’m not remembering that He will take care of these things!
You’re so right about how starting with just our “list” can make anxiety levels rise instead of go down. 🙂 Thanks for that, Sarah.
Thank you for these reminders. They should be obvious, but like you, I put myself first too often.
Amen! Love this, Betsy. It’s so easy to compose prayers that are “all about us”, isn’t it? Guilty. Good word to cause us to consider praise. #heartenccouragementThursday & #chasingcommunity
Amen Betsy it truly is all about Him. Beautiful, beautiful post.
I love the example of Nehemiah! His entire life was fragranced by his prayer to a praiseworthy God! And God gave Him strength and success! Thank you for the reminder!!
Such a wise and honest post, Betsy. I train myself to pray for others with visual and time-based cues. On the way home from dropping the kids off at school, I pray over them and my husband. When I see loved ones’ photos around my home, they are my prompts to pray. Otherwise I’d spend way too much time praying for myself too! Pinning and tweeting this great post.
When I opened this up in my inbox last night and noticed our themes were aligned this week, I smiled. Love when God puts His message on His girls’ hearts. 🙂 Great reminder to be focus less on ME and more on HIM in prayer. Thank you, friend. ♥
Nehemiah’s prayer is a great example. I agree, it’s far too easy for prayer to become all about us and what we want. Reminding ourselves who we’re praying to makes a big difference!
Love this encouragement, Betsy, to focus on God and His faithfulness. We pray not to be heard but to praise Him and hear His heart.
Yes to praising Him and hearing His heart.
Betsy, a resounding and repeating theme. So glad I came by for a visit!
Aww, Susan. I’m glad you came by too.
Betsy, what a timely reminder to make my prayers about looking to God first rather than me. I usually start every quiet time with thanksgiving and so often, I want to start listing my prayer needs. I have to force myself to think through things I’m grateful for first and it’s been a healthy practice. Good word, friend.
Thanksgiving is always a good place to start, isn’t it. And friend, let me tell you: yesterday, I had to CROWBAR myself into that good starting place. As in, I needed a forklift to get myself there. But it helped, and God’s Spirit took over.
Oh my. This is a lesson I need to be reminded of every day, Betsy. I too often make my prayers about me, me, me.
Right, Lisa? Me, me, me. Instead of Him, Him, Him. I appreciate you, friend.
Your words jumped off the page and into my heart today since I prayed a prayer from Nehemiah this morning. I love how God brings us together through His Word. Focusing on Him first is a great lesson for me to remember! Thanks for the encouraging post!
Thanks for your encouraging words, Nancy! How lovely to know God was speaking to you through Nehemiah before you read this. Thanks for sharing that. 🙂