When my son was born, I didn’t know motherhood can be a woman’s greatest glory and her worst nightmare. The fact that he came out screaming should have been a clue about the nightmare part!
When the nurse put that squirming, squalling bundle in my arms on the delivery table, I started singing “Jesus Loves Me.” Andres quieted down instantly, and my heart nearly burst for the glory of it because I’d sung that song every day during my pregnancy. But as soon as I finished my song, he went right back to crying.
The next day I walked out of the hospital holding my brand-new baby, with no clue about what awaited me. I didn’t know about pacing the halls with a baby at 2:00 a.m., but I survived the first weeks, and by the time my baby was 4 months old, I felt almost human again.
Most days the joy swallowed up the nightmare part. When my Camilla came into the world, she stole my heart and her dad’s, too.
I loved motherhood, but I needed to learn one important thing.
Although being a mom made me happy, there was plenty not to like about it. After all, I hadn’t signed up for ear infections that kept me up all night or kids vomiting in the car. I certainly didn’t sign up for the teenage roller coaster and late nights waiting for them to come home.
I’m learning motherhood is not all about me. Maybe my desire to be a mom initially centered around me. I wanted happiness and fulfillment. I didn’t realize God had a bigger plan to use my kids to shape me.
God uses motherhood both to bless and mold us.
Motherhood blesses and refines us. It enlarges our hearts. We learn love. We learn sacrifice as we get by on less sleep and stretch our money further. We learn to give as we sit down to one more superhero movie. It’s all part of God’s polishing process.
God uses us to shape our kids, but He also uses them to shape us, and that is part of the glory:
We can resist God’s molding or we can embrace it.
We hinder God’s work in us when we yearn for the past. On the taxi-driving, homework-helping days, part of us might yearn for the time when we could have coffee with a friend whenever we wanted.
We miss what God wants to do in us today when we long for the future. On the dog-tired, laundry-piling-up days, our focus leaps to the future. We dream of finally getting enough sleep or actually going to Target alone.
What if we embrace God’s plan for today?
Your stage may be different than mine, but I want to keep my eyes open to the wonder of watching two young adults grow into the people God created them to be. Whether we’re belting out “Like a Rolling Stone” in the kitchen or walking in the park, I want to show my kids more of what Jesus looks like. What wonders are you looking at today, friend? What would Jesus be doing if He were hanging out with your kids today?
Let’s let God have His way in us.
What if we lean into God’s purpose and plan as He shapes us? On the glory days, we give thanks. On the days when motherhood wears us down, we lean into God’s power. When we fail, we trust Him to complete His good work in us. We won’t get everything right, but we can show our kids a little bit of Jesus today as we let God mold us.
Now it’s your turn: What’s one way God is using motherhood to mold you?
Note: This is a re-edit from my archives.
Moms, are you feeling stressed, on edge, and burned out? Check out the book Only Love Today: Reminders to Breathe More, Stress Less, and Choose Love. This book opened my eyes again to the joys of being a mom, and it gave me a mantra for the hard days: “Only Love Today.” I can’t say enough about it.
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Jill says
Thanks for sharing this, Betsy! It is exactly what I needed to read today!
betsydecruz says
Do you know I kind of thought of you, Jill? I just can’t imagine all you have to handle right now with a baby in tow! It’s a lot, but you are doing such a great job, I know! You are amazing!
Joanne Viola says
Betsy, I am so grateful I am not the only one who has been refined by motherhood. I have often said that God grew me up in Him as my children grew up. And it has been the part of motherhood that to this day has been a blessing and a mystery to me 🙂
betsydecruz says
Isn’t that the truth, Joanne? He grows us up in Him! And the challenges change. He continues refining us, even after they leave home!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Betsy,
“Motherhood is not all about me.” I almost spit my coffee out on this line…truer words have never been spoken. I think the greatest lessons I have learned in motherhood are: 1. Just what it means to truly sacrifice your life for another. 2. No matter how much I think I’m in control…I’m not. 3. God will use everything in this journey to shape me and my children. 4. Motherhood never ends, it just morphs into a different type of relationship. 5. No matter what happens, God is always good. I could go on, but those are some of the biggest lessons I have learned and am continuing to learn. Great post!
Blessings,
Bev xx
betsydecruz says
Yes, Bev! You have some good points here. That #4 is one I’m learning now as my oldest just graduated from college. And no, we are NOT in control. I am learning that more and more.
Michele Morin says
There is absolutely nothing that has shaped this lump of clay more than the mothering journey. God has used my kids to show me how selfish I am, but he’s also used them to show me how generous and capacious he is, and I’m trusting to carry that lesson with me forever.
betsydecruz says
Yes, Michele! I also learned how selfish I am. It has been a refining journey. Still is.
Rebecca Hastings says
Learning and understanding that it’s not all about me has been a huge revelation in motherhood! Especially as the kids get older. They are their own people with their own relationship with God. We are part of helping them navigate it (and they, us.)
betsydecruz says
Yes, I think I’m still learning that “not all about me” lesson. Even as my young adults come home for the summer!
Lisa Appelo says
I love Rachel Macy Stafford’s writing and this one has been on my list for a while! Her writing always helps me exhale and extend grace in my family. Great words, Betsy!
betsydecruz says
I loved it! Need to read again now that my kids are home for the summer in our 2-bedroom! Hahah! Her audience is probably younger moms, but I found the book encouraging and applicable for sure.