Grow Your Marriage: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

A friend used to say that more couples divorced over the cap left off the toothpaste than for any other reason.  Mind you, her un-scientific statement was totally based on personal opinion, but it made an important point: we tend to blow little things out of proportion. Sweating the small stuff hurts marriages.

Last weekend we celebrated my husband’s 60^th birthday with friends and family. Enjoying this milestone made me mindful of what a wonderful husband I have.

Is he the perfect husband?

No.

But he’s faithful, responsible, gentle and usually considerate. We have a healthy marriage. Since Jose’s not perfect, of course he has bad days, but honestly, his bad days are NOTHING compared to MINE! I want to keep growing as a wife, so I’ve made a new decision. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Don’t sweat the small stuff:

What’s the small stuff? The small stuff is the little quirks and habits that drive us crazy and get us all bent out of shape if we let them. Your husband likes the living room curtains open, and you like them shut. So all week you go through a battle: you open them; he shuts them. Open. Shut. Open. Shut. Has anyone else been through that routine?

Maybe your husband feels comfortable in old jeans and plaid shirts, and you wish he wore smarter clothes. Maybe he’s not an over-the-top-romantic when it comes to Valentine’s Day.  Many men aren’t.

Focus on the Positive:

What would happen if instead of sweating the small stuff, we decided to look at the bigger picture and focus on the positive?  Does your husband work? Does he ever play with the kids?

Last week my husband turned a bad day around for me. Jose makes breakfast most days, but Wednesdays are my turn. Last Wednesday I was running late (like usual). In my hurry I let the cream of wheat boil over and dropped a raw egg. By the time Jose got to the kitchen, I was fuming. He quietly picked up a dish rag to help me. Then after breakfast he helped with the dishes. Even though Wednesday wasn’t his turn. Seeing him serve me melted my heart and changed my day.

I remembered again how faithful my husband is to serve our family.

Communicate Your Appreciation:

What qualities does your mate have? What do you appreciate about him? Thank your husband for something or mention a quality you recognize in him at least once a day.  Write a note or send a text occasionally to let him know how much he means to you and how much you appreciate him. Leave a treat on his pillow. When he comes through the door at night, stop your busy activities to look him in the eyes and ask how he is.

I want to grow in letting go of petty things, focusing on the positive, and communicating more appreciation. Will you join me?

What do you appreciate about your husband? Leave a comment to share it with us.