Recently I came across six towels stained by bleach in the course of one week. When I saw that 6th towel, I had a choice: I could blow a fuse, or just let it go. Now, usually I would opt for blowing a fuse. I would fret and fume. That’s what I’d already been doing for a week. [Read more…]
Ever have days when you feel downright un-lovable? Let me tell you, I certainly do. On the tired days when life lurches to high speed, I can snap and snarl. I make a snide comment to my husband. I say something gossipy to a girlfriend. I yell at one of my kids. Again.
Then I regret it and wonder how God could love a mess-up like me. God’s love is the first thing we learn when we come to Christ, but even after walking with Jesus 30 years, I still don’t quite get it. On good days, I’m fairly kind and considerate, but on my bad days, I can get mean and snappy. The people closest to me know it, too. Just ask them! I’m a sinner who desperately needs grace. [Read more…]
My eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to overflow and spoil our family breakfast at a special waterfront restaurant. As ridiculous as it sounds, a family spat over what to order made me cry. Seated across from me, my husband and two kids looked worried. Not wanting to ruin a special occasion, I struggled to control myself.
As I took deep breaths and willed away the tears, I thought back over my week. Several conflicts had gone unresolved, and PMS had set me on a roller-coaster ride headed for disaster. Now I had so much frustration pent-up inside that it spilled out as a flood of tears over a silly disagreement about whether to order an omelet or Turkish breakfast! What’s a girl to do?
As I celebrate my 50th birthday today, I remember my 30’s when I was in the trenches with my babies and hanging on for dear life. I thought fifty meant I’d be living easy, and I was partly right. Some things have gotten easier now that the baby phase is over, but I had no idea back then about the fireworks that would result from the haywire hormones of teens and a fifty year old mom in the same house! (Luckily my sweet kids are gracious and kind to put up with their mother.)
Today I continue celebrating joyful, hopeful fifty with the list I started Monday.
30 things I wish I’d known in my 30’s:
My family is celebrating a milestone that makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time: I’m turning 50! I want to cry because well, it’s FIFTY, for heaven’s sake, and when I look in the mirror, I can see I’m not a spring chicken anymore. I want to laugh because my 40’s were my best decade yet, and I hope life continues getting better.
When I was 20, 50 year old women looked mature, established, and OLD! Surely by fifty a woman would have her act together. However, I now realize that unless something drastic changes, I’m not going to be able to get myself together by May 8th. But I’m happier now than when I was thirty. I’m still learning and growing. That’s progress, isn’t it? [Read more…]